Bank Heist –
“Gee bubba, I thought it might be you but YOU would never wear a shirt into
the bank! Oh, you aren’t chubby either.”
—– Original Message —–
Sent: Monday, August 11, 2003 12:37 PM
Subject: APD Press Release – Bank Robbery # 7
>
> FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
> August 7, 2003
> Contact: Public Information Office
> BANK ROBBERY
> Time: 3:53 p.m.
> Date: Thursday, August 7, 2003
> Location: Wells Fargo, 501 S. Congress Ave.
> Narrative:
> The suspect entered the bank, displayed a note and
> demanded cash. The teller
> complied, and the suspect fled with an undisclosed amount of cash.
> The suspect is described as:
> * White male
> * Approximately 30 years old
> * Approximately 5’9″ tall
> * Chubby build
> * Short red hair
> * Last seen wearing a dark shirt, blue jeans, sunglasses, a gold
> earring in right ear and carrying a backpack
I have silver hoops in my right ear, two. And Thursday was “widows & orphans” as I recall. Besides, I wouldn’t wear blue jeans in the middle the summer, not if I could help it. And it’s hard to disguise 6-foot.
I wouldn’t be whining about no money and folks who want to read the site for free if I’d just robbed a bank. Shoot, if I had that kind of cash, the whole thing would be free. And the book would be done by now.
Cover Art
I tapped Greg (Capricorn Sun Sign) for helping illustrate the book because his illustrations and caricatures of me have been – to me – hilarious. Since this is a self-publishing venture, I can make the call about artwork.
The original plan was to have a page dedicated to his artwork for each of the 12 signs. Preproduction bogged down when Mars retrograded, so I gave up on that idea. Schedules didn’t work out right, and under the last almost[/i[ full moon, in Capricorn, he came up with an idea.
I always wanted to incorporate a “crest” that includes crossed fishing poles and a cow skull. Where this stuff comes from? Who knows?
The first draft. Looks good. Works for me.
Second draft. “Dude, I don’t know where it came from, you kinda, like, grew a fish tail. Or something. Your phone has an antenna, doesn’t it?”
Final copy, inked in. “Yeah, yeah, the shirt, it would more than likely be blue with orange flowers.” “Okay, sure. I added that Cap symbol dangling as a bit of vanity. I mean, I can take it out, if you want.” “No, leave it. Looks good.”
What I actually had to do was a bit of – to me – fancy layer work in a graphic program, making the image slightly transparent and placing a white background behind it to accentuate the two different levels. Myth versus reality.
Oh, who are we kidding? This is all non-reality.