December overview: In a time before Christianity invaded what is now called England, there was group of people who celebrated the shortest day of the year. That's where the tradition of the Yule Log comes from, and don't even ask about my Mercury Adventures with the fireplace. So Mercury is retrograde again in Sagittarius at the beginning of the month. While he rights himself about the 11th, I would hazard a guess that it will be the 15th before anyone feels better. And Saturn, worthy of note, because he's in a late degree of Aries, and he gets straight, too, before the end of the month. Don't forget that Sir Toby Belch was a comic character in 12th Night (and a Taurus, too). It looks like it's going to be the 12th day of December, not the 12th Night.
Aries: I was listening to a live Grateful Dead recording, and, like always, there's a long discursive guitar solo that certainly feeds the head, but you have to wonder about what direction this solo is going, musically. This month is going to be like. Or maybe it's a bit of jazz, something that seems to musically meander over hill and through the woods, but this is still supposed to do like that familiar Xmas jingle, and wind up at the house of your forbearers. Or something like that. It's really nothing more than a typical Martian influence. In case you forgot, Aries is ruled by Mars, and Mars is opposing you for the better part of the month. In fact, all of this month. And the solstice just means that sun moves into another position that you would rather not think about. Suggestions? All I can really recommend is that you stay away from downhill skiing right now. And cigarette boats. Maybe cigarettes, too. No need to endanger your health this month.
Taurus: The holiday period might not start out on the most fragrant of notes for you. In fact, this might be one of those beginnings you would rather forget. It's not nearly as bad for you as it is for me, I mean the whole Mercury Retrograde shuffle started in Sagittarius. The only thing that it can touch this season is a little problem with credit cards, lending institutions, or my buddy Bubba. He has lots of money to loan, there's a just a little problem with his collection system. You don't want to get in trouble with this sort of dude. He's not mean, but I doubt it when he tells me that this is going to hurt him as much as it hurts me. Frankly, I just don't see how swinging an ax handle is going to hurt him at all. You don't have to run into bill collectors of a similar sort, if you don't want to. Just be careful with your little pieces of plastic, especially during the first part of the month. After that, though, perhaps in the time after the big Xmas bash, then you can think about getting me a new boat. Or a new pair of boots.
Gemini: Starting a month like December out on a note like this one isn't too hot. Of course, here in the Northern Hemisphere, it's supposed to be winter. And you're likely to find yourself rather confused at the first part of the month because that Mercury mishap will mistakenly misplace most of your good will. It's like the time we had spring weather in December and the plants begin to fall for Nature's ruse. She snapped them shortly thereafter with a bitter cold, just to remind us all. And after Mercury starts gathering forward momentum, by the middle of the month, you'll start charging forward, too. One way to look it is to use the Christian Advent Calendar, a little device that counts down the days to Xmas. As the big day gets closer, actually, as the Winter solstice and Pagan Yule get closer, the better you feel. And now for a shameless plug, remember, you Sagittarius brethren this year.
Cancer: There are two wildly different forces affecting you right now. Maybe even three, but I'll stick to the two big ones I can observe. One is Mars; he's in Libra and opposing you. The other is Saturn, he's in Aries, and Squaring you. One way or another, you're in trouble right now. It all has to do with time management. How do you handle you scheduling? Are you a good Tecnho person, and have calendar system wired up on your computer, hooked up to one of those cellular Personal Digital Assistant things? If so, make sure you have a really long extension cord and maybe some extra batteries. If you do like I do, here at the lake, make sure you've got plenty of extra pencils and get ready to make lots of mistakes. If your calendar gets like mine, you won't be able to see all the girls of December because you've got so many notes written all over the dates. You may feel pretty popular until you consider that all of this is work related, and you don't have enough time to sit back and enjoy some holiday cheer. Buck up, Moon Child, it gets better once the new year gets here. I'll promise a more social extra curricular life, then.
Leo: Ever wind up with a manic partner for a Bass Tournament? Before the sun is up, you find yourself getting ferried all over the lake, you try one spot for about ten minutes and then, with no strikes, you up and motor off to another spot. Still no luck, your impatient partner suggests a third location. Before noon, you have no fish, and you personally feel like you have covered most of the lake. You're beginning to wonder if there really is any spot you haven't fished at, and you're wishing you could just curb this rushing around thing -- if your partner would just stick to one location for longer than thirty seconds, you might do a little better. This month is going to start out with just such a feeling, lots of scurrying around and virtually no results. But wait, because it does improve. In fact, long after your patience runs out, you hit a place, about the middle of the month, where things begins to happen for you. I realize you feel like you haven't caught anything worth keeping at first, but as the month matures, the haul gets better and better. You could wind up with a boatload of fish, if you just tolerate the manic behavior of others early this month.
Virgo: It's not like this is an auspicious beginning to your month. In fact, in some groups, Virgo is supposedly ruled by Mercury. However, I would be more worried about the outboard by the same name rather than the planet even though it's the planet that's causing the trouble. You're favorite form of transportation might have difficulties this month. This is also a bad time to attempt he repairs yourself. Reminds me of Bubba's place. He's got three derelict cars, two in the front, one in the back. While some folks might consider a 1977 Monte Carlo to be a classic car, I can't always share the same feelings. If you attempt to fix your transportation at this time, you might have it wind up just like Bubba's front yard. Or back yard. And even though it looks like it's a good time in your schedule to "fix it yourself" I would urge you to give this a lot of consideration, first. About the time the Xmas holiday gets here, though, things are going to work out perfectly.
Libra: We have a little problem in Libra Land right now, and that problem is with things that go "boom." This is courtesy of Mars and he's firmly entrenched in your sign for a while. The other problem is from Saturn, over yonder in Aries, and he's vacillating back and forth. One or the other will get you. I would be a more worried about the things that go "boom" rather than anything else. Either it's the dynamite you wanted to use for bait that is a little unstable right now, or it's the Fish and Game Department character who takes dim view of the special bait. One way or another, someone is out to make sure that you adhere to their strict guidelines. The more caution you employ at this time, the better off you are. Of course, seeing as it's a holiday season, the very idea of caution might got boom, too, and there you have it. I realize that it's certainly not the Fourth of July, but you might expect similar results to last year's Fourth. Scorpio: Nothing but good times coming up for
Scorpio. Yes, the month starts out with a pesky Mercury thing, but even that's not to slow you down too much. The only problem comes from your old fashioned ruler, that would Mars, and the place he is right now, that would be Scorpio. Careful with impulse buys right now. Careful with charging off in a new direction for no apparent reason. And be careful with plans made early in the month, it's that Mercury thing again. But Mercury rights itself, and you get used to the Martian influence. And yes, it's that time of the year when it's my solemn duty to make sure that all the Scorpio's double check their Xmas list, and make sure that there isn't something lurking in the back f your closet that you have forgotten about. Maybe it was a bass boat for your favorite astrologer. Must be a Scorpio closet to hide that.
Sagittarius: This month starts out with a bit a of a weird time. You keep finding yourself the center of attention at this time, and perhaps it's in a situation where you don't exactly want to be the center of attention. It's like the time I was handling one of the lures at Bubba's Bait and Sushi shop, and I accidentally let it slip into my pocket. It was an honest mistake, but for the longest time, Bubba was for sure that I was trying to shoplift another top water lure. I wasn't, and I know that deep in my heart. But the appearance of the event looked otherwise. Especially on any shopping foray in the first part of the month, be extra careful about about your purchases. In fact, maybe stay away from stores for the first two weeks of the month. Then, as the big party day gets better, you can consider making trips down to the Flea Market and your haggling skills will be sharper than ever before. I think you might locate a new source for decent black velvet masterpieces, later in the month. Just give it enough time.
Capricorn: The 12th Night of Christmas, some would suggest that the source for the title of a particular play I seem to like, anyway, on the 12th night of December, you'll find that your whole attitude is getting better. Much better. This drastic improvement is due, no doubt, to the little lift from Venus, the way Mercury corrects itself, and the idea that Mars is merely giving you a chance to actively reflect back on the last year. Where did you make mistakes that could be corrected? Where did fail? And where did you excel? What steps can you take to make this all better? And realize, too, that's a birthday month coming up, and that means it's going to get better and better. I realize that there's a certain fear and trepidation that you might have towards the whole, "another year older" thing, but just get over it. By the time the Solstice gets here, you start feeling a little bit better. Maybe a lot better. Venus spends a goodly portion of this month in your sign, so I predict you attitude will be good, if nothing else.
Aquarius: The good news is that it's the holidays. The bad news is the persistent haze that seems to descend upon you. This more a like a purple haze as opposed to the Mexican Fog we had last summer. It's like you're doing the Texas Two Step, and everyone else is busy with a traditional folk number. There should be a persistent "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" allusion at this point, but I don't reckon most Aquarius folks would go for something so traditional. But this month does feel like it is being motivated by one of those long reels played on a fiddle. This is like the precursor to the guitar solo, a delightful exploration into the ups and downs, moods and mysteries of the musician, sounding out the very limits of what his or her instrument can do. And it makes you want to dance. And that's how the month goes. Out of step? Or just on the cutting edge? Well, it's something like that. As usual, I suggest that Aquarius is merely the leader, not the follower at this time.
Pisces: I'm getting a special pair of Pisces Plugs made. These are going to be used to plug the open, gaping mouths of Pisces who complain about the state of Pisces land right now. In old time astrology, the ruler of Pisces was Jupiter. That was before Neptune could be seen and its mysteries could be better associated with Pisces. So Jupiter is still wafting through the latter degrees of Pisces, making fast tracks all over that sign. The first of the month has a few uncomfortable bumps, and dealing with the other signs caught in the throes of a mercury Retrograde is bound to get to you eventually. But Jupiter brings a good outlook, and he will also bring a form of relief. I was hoping for monetary relief, but there will some kind of gesture from the Universe that will make the holidays even better. Now, about these Pisces Plugs (and it's not a "plug" fishing lure either), I won't have to use them, unless you start to complain about the weight you gain during the holidays. It's okay, the New Year promises relief in that area, too.
Kramer Wetzel
http://www.astrofish.net
Laete cenaremus quos nos subigant
1998
Dec. 5 New Age Books, 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
Dec. 13 Whole Life Books, 1006 S. Lamar, Austin, TX
1999
Jan 2 & 3, El Paso, TX
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an 16 & 17, Austin, TX
Jan 30 & 31, Las Cruces, NM
Feb 20 & 21, Corpus Christi, TX
Jun 12 & 13, Austin, TX
Oct 2 & 3, Austin, TX
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