Week of: 2/1-7/99

A mote it is to trouble the mind's eye.
In the most high and palmy state of Rome,
A little are the mightiest Julius fell,
The graves stood tenantless and the sheeted dead
Did squeak and gibber in the Roman streets;
As stars with trains of fire and dews of blood,
Disasters in the sun; and the moist star
Upon whose influence Neptune's empire stands
Was sick almost to doomsday with eclipse;
And even the like precurse of fierce events,
As harbingers preceding still the fates
And prologue to the omen coming on,
Have heaven and earth together demonstrated
Unto our climatures and countrymen.
But, soft! behold! lo! where it comes again.
[Re-enter Ghost.]
Horatio in Shakespeare's Hamlet [I.i]

That old ghost always reminds me of ground hog day, same sort of apparition. For good or for ill? Ay, that's the question. Tuesday is ground hog day -- but in Texas, we prefer to look for Armadillos.

The new romance guide -- in it's experimental finest -- is up. Give it a whirl since that seems to be a topic everyone wants to know about. It's about 99% complete in its "beta" form, so pardon the typographical errors. And if something doesn't make sense, questions are always free.

Looks like I missed my Superbowl prediction again this year. I live in Texas -- that makes it pretty easy, every year. I have to pick the Cowboys. Failure to do so results in a sudden decline in my business. But after much discussion on Saturday, the "psychic" take was that there was a good upset heading towards the Superbowl this year. The only person I know who isn't upset is one lone Gemini (isn't that an oxymoron, "lone Gemini?) in Austin, that single Denver fan. I think I'll steer away from football predictions again.

The Uranus and Sun little get together is likely to create waves that will last a for a little while. It's going to be an unusual week with lots of unusual upsets occurring. Blame it the Aquarius in your chart. Or life. That lingering effect of an eclipse and the Leo/Aquarius stuff floating about makes for interesting times.

On the drive back from Las Cruces, heading down in Texas, I finally pieced together a personal puzzle. I have a better understanding of just how Cormac McCarthy's writing style so closely evokes this countryside. His style is starkly beautiful and barren, and so is this place. I had the shadow of the Franklin Mountains on my left as we cruised back from a hard day of work in New Mexico.

Traveling has worn me out, combined with a busy a schedule in Austin, so I couldn't dream up a decent trivia question this week. But I hope we're over the Mars and Saturn thing for a little while. However, if you really want to play, send me the proper American author's name, and the place it appears in his canon of work for the following quote, and I'll see about a custom crafted "el-cheapo" report for yourself via the Virtual Vacuum tube:

"Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke."

[Because it's apparent this Fishing Guide ain't mastered it yet.]

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Venus seems to be moving pretty quick, and she's in your 12th House, at least, by Solar definition, and what does that mean? It means you need to rush headlong, like you always do, and get about your important Aries business. But as far as the Romance thing goes, just put it off this week. To be sure, there will be some romance, but it might not be the variety that you are looking for. You might feel like your Third Cousin, the one from the trailer park, shows up at your door step, and suggests that you play doctor like you used to when you were kids. It's not a good idea. And to think, people wonder about MY cousins in East Texas.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You've got this one last little deal that you've been working on, okay, so it's a big deal, not a little deal, and that one little deal needs you to look over its paperwork. I hate to break it to you, but you've got a long week of work-related stuff going on, and it's like working on an outboard motor: it's something you have to do yourself. You can't get anyone to help you this week. Now, what's the reward for all of this solitary work? You will win some wide acclaim for your efforts, but right now, you feel like the Lone Ranger, out there, all by yourself, with nothing but a horse called "Trigger." I always did wonder what was under that mask.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]:This is a better than average week. Of course, any week with a few Gemini highlights is going to be a better than average week. In fact, just about anything a Gemini touches is going to be better than average. But I'm digressing, and I wouldn't want the Gemini's to think that I was trying to curry favor with them. I would never do that. The deal is simple, see, the Sun is in Aquarius, along with Mr. Mercury, and that makes a nice, strong, beneficial angle to Gemini land. So the the real trick, this week, is to make use of all this wonderful Gemini energy, the old intellectual side is going to feel refurbished, like someone just gave you new seat covers for that old truck.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: This what is commonly called a "disaster" time for Cancer. It's not you personally, although, I wouldn't hesitate to suggest that you feel like it is you personally. It's just an odd combination of morning planets. [Mourning planets?] The easiest thing for you to do is to pick on old stuff which needs to be attended to, and stick to that. In other words, those taxes you didn't do last month really need your attention this week. Like I said, you're just doing a little clean up because that's what comes easiest this week. While everyone is rushing around, you should be attending to minute details, details like: which fishing lure earrings go best with this outfit?

Leo [7/23-8/23]: What wild lunar ride you have this week. It starts out, well, it starts out a lot like the way Bubba usually starts the BBQ grill: way too much lighter fluid. And then, there he is, with flames licking the underside of the clouds, calmly smoking a cigar as the neighbors call the fire department. Now, my fine Fire Sign [did I ever tell you Leo was my favorite fire sign?], it's time to get out there and tell the emergency workers who show up at your doorstep that yes, you do actually have everything under control. Just relax a bit. It's not anything to worry about. "Really, guys, trust me," you calmly say., "I got it all under control. I meant to singe the eaves like that."

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Hello there, my fine Virgo friend. I'll try to be as nice as possible. But with the media hype surrounding us these days, it;'s hard for me to cover this topic for this week with anything but ham-fisted approach. It's like fishing with dynamite; it's not an exact science. And neither is the headache you're getting from the romance department, either. In fact, romance, for you--for this week only--is going to feel like a major painful operation. Now, I'll give you a hint: your head won't hurt as much once you stop banging it against that fixed, immovable object called a brick wall. That sums up the romance this week. Next week? Things look much brighter as the big day approaches. Have faith. And no pot shots at your astrologer buddy.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Libra land is good place to be this week. In fact, it's a great place to be at this time of this year. Nothing could be finer. All your Neurons are aligning with all the little synapses and everything is clicking along just fine in the "neck up department" if you know what I mean. Therein is the good news. The only problem you might encounter this week is that some folks seem to lack a degree of patience when you're explaining things, trying to make a point clear. Ease up on it a little. Cut the verbosity to a minimum. Choose them words with care. Act like a poet and trim away the excess, know what I mean?

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Two degrees of Mars is what you get this week. That's the exact number of degrees that the little red one moves in your sign. This comes under the heading of "good thing" as far as I'm concerned. And it's a good thing for you, too, as far as you're concerned. Mars ruled to "rule" Scorpio, back before 1930. And, Mars still has a big impact on your life, especially this week. In fact, "big impact" might be a little bit of an understatement, but being the good Scorpio that you are, you can work with this brilliant juxtaposition of words. Mars might make you a little accident prone, but it still means you are going to have an energetic week.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Romance mean anything to you, my fine Sagittarius friend? It should. Now, does the term "compulsive behavior" mean anything to you? Let's skip the quiz part of this week's news and get to the point. There is romance blooming all around you, like Texas Wildflowers which are coming up too early in the season. And like those same wildflowers, you are going to experience a few chilly nights this week when you wind up alone, freezing your backside off, and wondering where all that sudden good romance went. So careful with the romantic entanglements this week. Don't act in hasty manner. Or a rash manner. In fact, a hasty manner could produce a rash. See your Medical doctor for details, especially if the itching persists. Of course, here in Austin, it could just be hayfever.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Other signs are having a bit of tough luck as we approach the big V. Day. You, how so ever, are not having near the trouble that some folks are. And this little streak of good luck looks as if it will continue right on through the weekend. You just have to remember that your good fortune doesn't always make us happy. I'm not naming signs, but you need to be extra careful about a certain Fixed Water sign who delights in other peoples' misfortune. Don't let this get you down. Just be extra cautious about touting your good point this week. It's like being in a boat, and you're the one who keeps catching all the fish -- your partner doesn't like it when you change positions, and yet you still continue to reel them in. .

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]:I was watching a classic movie about Texas, and I noticed that, on the screen, the Texans all hollered a lot. Two night later, I was watching another movie, this time on TeeVee, and I noticed that the Texans, in the room with me, hollered a lot. So, if you are from the LARGEST UNFROZEN STATE, then I expect you to holler a lot this week. And even if you're not Texan, I still expect this behavior to be quite pronounced in you this week. It's because Mercury just make you more vocal than usual. So pretend you're a Texan, if you're not from the Great State, and go ahead, give in to that urge. Pretend you're herding cattle, or watching a rodeo. Or talking to an astrologer.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Venus is supposed to be a calm and pacifying planet. It indicates things like love, perhaps that would be love on the most spiritual of all levels. Then again, you ARE a Pisces, so perhaps that's something a little different, perhaps it's a more mundane influence that you are feeling. Doesn't matter what the feeling is, though, Venus is going to have a very positive effect on your love life this week. There's one thing I will promise, you will not be bored. Nope, anything BUT that. No boredom here. And, to make this a better picture, some of the "less than wonderful" influence from the planets this week, well, they actually help you out. Enjoy the good times!