"Can I go forward when my heart is here?
Turn back, dull earth, and find thy centre out."
[He climbs the wall, and leaps down within it.]
Romeo in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliette [II.i.1-2]

This month we get to see Jupiter, the lucky star, start his annual three month vacation. As it comes in the middle of the summer, it might upset some plans because the headlong rush forward, the heady sense of optimism might be curtailed a little bit. In other words, the price of crude oil, Texas "T", might drop a bit. Or drop a bit more. Maybe that's good news for drivers, but it's rough on the folks in the oil trade. Saturn is making himself at home in Taurus, giving all the early degree of fixed signs (i.e. Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) a little bit of trouble as he faces off against Neptune, over in Aquarius. It's not a great month, but with Venus and Mars playing tag, first in Gemini, then in Cancer, romance looks good, even if it means you're going to have to go for the cheap vacations. The Texas Coast never looked better as vacation destination. If only Romeo had gone to the Texas Coast, he might have had more fun. The Romeo stuff is in honor of Venus and Mars this month.

Aries [3/21-4/20]: You feel like you're getting close to an epiphany, one of those little advertising light bulbs that goes off in your head, you're having great ideas, but there's a little problem, you just can't seem to turn your ideas into action. It's not from lack of effort on your part just that no one else seems to be cooperating with you. It's like being stuck in a wonderful Mexican Restaurant, and all of your college career, you studied French. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get the idea of a meal across to the help. You might order flour tortillas, but wind up getting corn tortillas. Now, the good news, out of this apparent miscommunication you'll discover that the corn tortillas are handmade and taste of that rich flavor, full of masa. Of course, you won't be able to communicate this idea to the staff, you'll notice that they just grin and put up with your Gringo ways.

Taurus [4/20-5/21]: You are going to need to assure yourself that this is like a test of the Emergency Broadcast Network, and it's only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been told where to go and what to do. Saturn and Neptune are conspiring to teach you a little lesson, and like most little lessons in life, it's not going to be too easy on you. Rather than coddle you like some astrologers, I'll just have to fall back on the safest warning that I know about: watch out for compulsive habits, like going to Houston too often, or Bass fishing. Granted, Bass Fishing is more of a spiritual pursuit than, but not everyone understands it. And this month isn't a time to jump into a hobby like this. Work seems to be calling you this month.

Gemini [5/21-6/21]: While other signs are worrying about work, love and its attachments seem to be occupying a large portion of your time. You can thank Venus and Mars, especially early in the month, for all this attention. With the love duo making sweet country music in your sign, you can heed the call as you see fit. But be a little on the cautious side because Venus and Mars leave you soon enough, and you don't want to end up sounding like a broken C&W record, sad tales about lost love and lost hope. Stick to basics this month, and you'll do much better. No one wants life to imitate a sad song, especially a sad Willie Nelson song.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: With Mars coming into your sign, all the CancersÍ need to make sure that they are extra careful with the fireworks, and I mean all month long, not just on the big day. The most dangerous trick is trying to hold onto a firecracker just a little too long before you toss it. Now, on a larger scale, you might feel like you've got a dynamite relationship, and you need to be cautious about trying to hold onto it a little too closely as well. You don't want the logical conclusion to this scenario.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I'm here to help the Leo's of the world. It's time to get your fishing gear in order. Plan on sorting out the tackle box of life, and getting all your hooks and lures straightened out. Put them in the right place. In fact, you might want to consider getting a new way to store all the little things in life that are necessary in order to get by. Mercury is making a slow arc across the Leo sky, and it's calling to you. Time to head Mr. Mercury's call, and get things ready because next month, you're going to need as much organization, already in place. Next month is the big bass tournament, and you want to make sure you're ready. YÍall could be winners, but you've got a little bit of homework to do, first.

Virgo [8/23-9/23]: There's an odd romance influence in this month's astrology chart for you. It's not a direct influence, but it speaks about Fate and Destiny. Of course, as a good Virgo, you know these terms are over used. And like these terms, you feel a little abused this month. But I'll promise that there is a chance for some kind of romance this month. It might just be with a big fish at the lake, but hey, in my book, a record catch is better than some of the dates I've been on. You're going to spend part of this month wondering about bait, because some of the lures you've been using lately don't catch exactly what you want. Remember that results count, the point is not how you got there, but you got there.

Libra [9/23-10/23]: You are supposed to be feeling a little bit of relief this summer, kind of like the difference between a swamp cooler and real refrigerated air. In the far reaches of West Texas, a swamp cooler works just fine and adds a bit of much needed humidity. But in the more popular places, a swamp cooler is more a historical oddity. This month, you get a fresh charge in the old air conditioner, and things seem to blow cooler for a little while. The odd influences include a weird love asteroid heating up your emotions, but that new astrological AC works just fine at helping you keep your cool.

Scorpio [10/24-11/22]: Except for a few of you guys, it's a good month, and it keeps getting better all month long. It's like the slow climb of a roller coaster at Six Flags when you know what is coming next. While the month might start out a little slow, the apparent motion of the planets and their slow procession into a good water sign, means that you are going to have a good ride coming up. Maybe it feels like the rest of the month is a roller coaster, but you have to gain some elevation first. Then things get good. Real good, as a matter of fact. Aren't you glad that roller coasters stay on a prescribed set of tracks?

Sagittarius [11/23-12/22]: While other signs are worried about unimportant things like summer romance, you should be concentrating on the bigger issues, like seriously making some money. I know that your ruling planet, that would be Jupiter, goes backwards in the sky (i.e. retrograde), but that just means that you are going to have to work a little harder. In my Sagittarius files, I have a note that "work" is considered a four-letter word, but this month, it looks like there is just no avoiding it right now. Work. Lots of it. In fact, it seems like you are not reaping any rewards, but you have to remember that your personal harvest season, unless you're an East Texas Cotton Farmer, is still a ways off.

Capricorn [12/22-1/21]: Saturn is always voted as the the planet most likely to be associated with your sign. And this month, as long as Saturn is "doing his thang" in Taurus, he gives you a little bit of an extra edge in business. Now, that's the upside to this month, even though Mr. Jupiter is flailing like someone trying to attract the lifeguard's attention in the deep end of the astrology pool. Now, just like that person in the deep end, the lifeguard isn't very likely to form much more than a casual relationship with the person he (or she) saves. And you're not likely to form any long lasting relationships, of the romance variety, this month, either. But business is good for you.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Dreams and the illusion of dreams are prominent this month because Neptune plays a loose game of touch football with your sign. And like a seemingly friendly game of football, in the hot Texas sun, things can turn serious pretty quickly. Hot, sweaty, and all out of proportion, and of course, in Texas, Football is a religion -- just ask the high school kids in the Permian Basin. As we get older, though, these afternoon antics have dire consequences. So you might want to be a little more careful with afternoon sports -- the lounger and a remote is a better option, consider it preseason training.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: I just don't buy what other astrologers are telling all the fishes this month, about how times are tough. Yes, the optimism of Jupiter is going on hold right now, and it's like trying to get through to Michael Dell himself, you keep running into layer after layer of bureaucrats hindering your progress. But like Dell, you do have an idea that you could sell and revolutionize the market. The trick is timing, and I'm here to help with that. Hold your idea for a few moments. Remember that Jupiter is taking a summer vacation. You still have luck on your side, and all I'm asking for is 1% of gross winnings (because I told you about it). Yes, that call will go through.

FGS World Tour

Aug. 1 & 2, Austin, TX [South]
Aug. 15 & 16, El Paso, TX
Aug. 22, New Age Books [1006 S. Lamar]
Sep. 18, 19 & 20 Whole Life Expo Austin, TX [Palmer Auditorium]
Oct. 24 & 25, Austin, TX [South]
Jan 2-3, 1999, El Paso, TX

Feel free to mail these horoscopes around to your friends, or enemies, we really don't care, but remember, your supposed to include everything done to the end of the signature, because the lawyers said so.

Want more?

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http://www.io.com/~fgs The Astrology Home Buoy

July, 1998 (c) Kramer Wetzel