Week of: April 7 - 13
"You are all recreants and dastards, and delight to live in slavery."
in Shakespeare's Henry VI, Part 2 (IV.viii.28-29)

Aries : Your astrological influence for this week is a new moon which means it's a good time, well, as good as any, to start out a new project. Looking at some of the other astrological influences in your life right, there's that mean old Venus and Saturn's benevolent role meaning that a it's a good time to start out a relationship with an older Capricorn. Everyone needs a little Cappy in their life, just to make things seem all right. Trust me, it's going to happen this week.

Taurus : Here at FGS World Headquarters, we have a number of different sayings concerning dealing with the opposite sex. Seeing as how were all fisher guys (wonder if that's like the Fisher King?), we get asked a lot of questions about romance. Well, gentlemen, I can tell you a thing or two about dealing with women: either they will do what they say they will, or they won't. And that's how this week goes.

Gemini : Romance. Foreign strangers. Tall, dark and handsome strangers. It all fits in this week. Or maybe next week because, with a Gemini, one can never be too sure about specific details. But you are certainly entertaining the notion of romance in really big way this week. The problem wit the average "attention deficit" Gemini is that you guys might lack a little bit of follow through on the old stroke to get the romance thing off the ground and sailing through the air. Got to work on that backswing, as they say in other sports' metaphors.

Cancer : Last week ended with you feeling like you were stuck in a Jon Boat with no plug in the drain hole, slowly sinking into oblivion. This week, it feels like your still slowly sinking into a morass called "work" and it looks like there is no hope in sight. That's not true, there is hope in sight, and it comes as the weekend approaches. I would definitely get the boat out, pull those cover back, and get ready to FISH this weekend. Might land a trophy trout yet.

Leo : As a firmly fixed sign, Leo's don't have too much trouble with tenacity. That's the good news. The downside of this "fixity" in your chart is the fact that you have to rehearse a little before you can give a good performance. This week, plan on standing in front of a mirror rehearsing some of the jokes you want to tell. You have a chance to be one of the funniest people around, and a great opportunity to attract a lot attention in doing so, but you had better get that delivery down.

Virgo : I can hear the Virgo whine, sort of like one of my old motorcycle motor before it ceased to function in a rather abrupt manner. That whine is "when are you going to say something nice about Virgo's?" Here's something nice for an average Virgo: my, but the house looks really clean! And those are such pretty place mats on the table! That should keep you guys off my back. Actually, even if I did say something nice, you would probably mutter something under breath about how it wasn't perfect. Mars is making you a little touchy these days.

Libra : Libra is the sign of the scales. But you knew that. And scales represent balance. But you knew that. And this week, you are finding yourself stuck between the relationship you have with work and the romantic relationship you have at home. In fact, you can't seem to find any kind of effective balance there at all. Wish I could help., but when it comes to Libra romance problems, sometimes I can't help find an effective balance either. I will wager that no matter what your decision is, you'll wish you had done it the other way. But you knew that.

Scorpio : Mercury is moving in to Taurus, which, as an observant Scorpio, you already knew. This means the little morning star is influencing some of your decision making processes this week. Mental alertness is better than usual. It's sort of like buying a used college text book, you know, one that has all the important stuff underlined. That's the way you see this week, all the events which need your attention have already been marked in yellow.

Sagittarius : It's another lucky week for the Archer class of people in this world. I would just be careful about the sometimes characteristic pratfall humor which follows the Archer around. The usual clumsiness is is likely to result in an unexpected swim in the murk of the lake if you try standing up in the boat. Of course, you'll make it look like you dived in, every one swims with a fishing vest festooned with lures.

Capricorn : No more Mr. Nice guy this week. You are face to face with some tough family problems and those guys won't leave you alone. The worst part of the family problems is that you can see yourself in their genes. There is no solace this week, just grit and bear it. The family dust will subside. Maybe. In a month or two. Who ever thought you might want to swear out a restraining order against your kin folk? Who'd a thunk it?

Aquarius : This is going to be one weird week, but given the recent turn of events, that's nothing new for you. What is new is that you are going into a phase of your life that could last two days, two week, two months or even two years wherein you are making some drastic changes in your day to day living arrangements. I wasn't joking when I suggested a travel trailer for you.

Pisces : I sure am glad you guys are patient with me these days because it looks like you are staring to reap some benefits that are long overdue. Years ago, I kept telling you that you were just "fixin" to make some money, and like a long-lost RICH relative, this is actually starting to take place. You got a kick in the pants last week, and now you are ready to strike back. Don't go for the throat, go for the wallet, It'll hurt 'em worse in the long run.