Week of: Dec. 4 - 10 Mars and Venus are in Capricorn, playing a cosmic game of tag and creating a less than perfect union with the other two heavies, still in Capricorn, Neptune and Uranus. Looks like it's a good week to go shopping.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Looks as if you are going to be offered an easy way out of bad situation that you have some how managed to get yourself enmeshed in, and my recommendation, especially with the approaching holidays and world situation, my way of dealing with this situation would be to take it. Whatever the deal, walk around it, kick the tires, look under the hood, call up your mechanic and have him come over and take a look, but I would guess that this is a good deal for you, and it's time to take to the highway.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: It feels like you start out the week strong. That's the good news. In fact, just to make one particular Taurus happy, I'll tell a little white lie here: the rest of the week is destined to be joyful and easy. And you will not experience any car problems. Now, I'm serious about no car trouble, but the "stretcher" is the joyful part of your existence. Someone is trying to make you unhappy. Your innate ability to be resistant to change is called upon right now. Go for it, or rather, don't go for it.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Remember the theme song from the movie "Jaws"? This is an important concept and music illustrates this best: lurking beneath the surface, out there in the deep water of your soul, there is a monstrous creature of inhuman proportions just waiting to strike. Now you see why the music from a particular movie was so appropriate. This thing beneath the water, it's part of you, and it's always been there, only, right now, you are beginning to see the fin. Start the theme music, please.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: There is a relationship which always forms between a fisherman and his boat. Like a cowboy and his horse, the boat becomes an extension of the fisherman's body, his very soul, and ultimately, the boat reflects his personality. Now that we're in the winter months, it would be a good time to take the boat out to dry-dock and give her a little sprucing up. In a more modern parlance, I should suggest that you check under the hood, but that would mix metaphors.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The good news is that the official winter time party time has arrived. So much for the happy stuff. The problem that you are finding this week is effecting a balance between the romance, the real world, and the party schedule. There just doesn't seem to be enough time. Not to mention, too, the fact that you really want to get out and do some kind of shopping. Not quite enough time ion the day, and no matter what I try to tell you, you are going to run yourself out to an exhaustion. At least you should have fun while you're running yourself ragged.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Peace and harmony are actually going to come and visit you for a little while. I hope this is a welcome message, especially coming at you during the impending Yule. If you can balance it, and there is no reason why you shouldn't, then you can have just about all the things that you want for Christmas come true. There's a catch, though, and you knew there would be: you have to get up and go to work extra early this week. Sorry about that. Plan on putting in some last-minute overtime to help pay for your holiday extravagance.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: The problem is that during the next week you do not feel like working. In fact, this is compounded over a month-long period. We'll just chalk this one up to the holiday season and its attendant zeal. You do need to watch your step, though, as it would be real easy for you to make a costly mistake at a time like this. The deal is that you are so full of the loving and giving spirit right now that nothing feels like it can stop you.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I keep hoping that you understand that there is some clarity coming along for you. You've struggled every inch of the way with this problem, and you keep struggling even though the problem is now past you. Hasn't stopped you, though, now has it? You keep taking the elements Earth and Water and making mud pies. While this can be a restorative action in the short run, it can get a little long in the tooth in the long run. Don't you think it's time to move on?

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Let's just go out and pat ourselves on the back, one more time. Happy birthday. Got that out of the way. Now, what you can look forward to this week is an accelerated mental capacity, fortified by your own metal quickness. In other words, your head will be working like a 6x speed CD ROM player, accessing information and displaying the results of search and retrieve missions. Blisteringly fast, too. Put this quickness to goo d use this week, Bubba, especially if it's your birthday.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: It has been suggested, on more than one occasion, that I don't like Capricorn's. Couldn't be farther from the truth. It's just at times like this that I have problems with them because they split into twins this week, like little cells replicating. This duality is nothing new to Capricorn -- it's been a recurrent theme for the last years, it's just very prominent this week. Watch out for doing anything which might be interpreted as being two-faced. Doesn't mean don't do it, just be careful about what say and do because this could reflect badly on you later.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Feel the winds of war blowing in the gentle zephyrs whispering news to you about foreign lands? Okay, let's try that again. Feel the winds of war blowing news of foreign lands while whispering gentle zephyrs.... one more time, with feeling: the winds of war are whispered on the gentle breezes blowing in from foreign lands. There you have it. There is a raw undercurrent which permeates you with a feeling, and you feel like you are about to have a date with Destiny. I'm envious.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The problem is that the whole month December ought to be a vacation. Too bad you still have some work with its concomitant loose ends which some other sign has all left for you to wrap up. In Real Fishing Guide Talk, this is known as "cleaning the fish," wherein you take a long and very sharp knife and slit the fish open from head to toe (gills to fin, as it were), and make the fillet edible. Problem is, there is a huge catch, and no one is left to clean the fish except you.
Kramer Wetzel Austin, Texas October 1995 rodeo voice mail: 512/209-2200
fax (Bubba's fax line is ALWAYS open): 512/448-0970 http://www.io.com/~fgs/ fgs@io.com