Monthly News of the World

copyright Kramer Wetzel, Austin, Texas

9/97

Sept. Scopes

"Your horse would trot as well were some of your brags dismounted"
The Constable in Shakespeare's Life of Henry V (III.vii.79-80)

Consider the Shakespeare quote as an introduction to the way Mercury is treating something like seventy-five percent of the of the population. And the other, unaffected folks? You still have to deal with us.

Aries: You've got some kind of fun coming this month. And, after this last summer, this idea of sheer pleasure is a welcome concept. Spend the first of the month cleaning up from various Mercury-related upsets, then get ready for a celebration later. Don't let your employer get in your way.

Taurus: Remember last spring, about the time it finally warmed up in Texas? Remember, Mercury was retrograding all over you? Time to gather up those pieces of life, dare I say shattered pieces? Pull them back together. This is a good month, and it gets incrementally better as the weeks begin to flow by.

Gemini: Mercury retrogrades have a tendency to hit you guys really hard, and this one is no exception. What's worse, is you feel like there is a degree of clarity coming, and it is, and this degree of insight is still behind the clouds right now. Going to be there all month. In other words, you can see that there is a light, but you're not sure if you're in the tunnel.

Cancer: When I ran Cancer up in the Astro Fish Finder, what I found was good news on the romance front. And not so wonderful news on the money earning thing. But Love, or a reasonable facsimile there of, will certainly be moving and shaking like a live action lure, all month long. Go ahead, take a strike at that bait and get reeled in.

Leo: You feel the latent and residual effects of the wedding planet (asteroid actually) as it makes finally its passes at you, just long enough to wake your maternal or paternal instincts. If it's family and associated stuff that you are looking for, now is the time. But be aware: this can be a fleeting influence. I don't know, but I've been told that children can last a lifetime.

Virgo: As the month begins, Virgo is in full swing. In fact, the very beginning of the month has a nice little Virgo gift in the midst of the Mercury RX time, a new moon to ameliorate the pejorative effects of the Nasty Mercury Back Stroke. Have a wonderful Virgo birthday even though I forgot to call. I always forget that special Virgo's birthday.

Libra: While Mercury is swimming backwards in your 12th House, it is a good time for serious introspection and daunting self-examination. Once that is over, get back to enjoying the good life because Venus is paying an annual visit to you and this is a good time to make use of her good graces.

Scorpio: In the old, dark days of astrology, before Pluto was observed, your sign was solely associated with Mars. The red one spends almost all of this month in Scorpio, so get used to the idea of travel, activity, and cars. The travel is good. The activity is good. Cars are a problem -- let someone else drive. And this isn't a dire prediction, just an observation.

Sagittarius: the beginning of the month is like trying to drive a bass boat with anchor still in place. It just doesn't move too fast in any particular direction. The deal is caused by several small planets acting in concert to slow the mighty archer down. Plot your course carefully, though, because Mars weighs in to change the odds at the end of the month, and it's "Anchors Away" at that point. And, to confuse a few more metaphors, don't get "nots" mixed with "knots".

Capricorn: There's a lot of useful but entirely unstable energy floating around you this month. You might want to haul yourself off to the library or bookstore to look up a few Chaos Theory references because the basic premise seems to be operating in your quadrant of the sky. Put some of this random and apparently unstructured energy to work for you. How? That's up to you.

Aquarius: Folks in my line of work get accused of all sorts of wild things. This month, though, you should try making contact with J. Paul Getty, or a similar disembodied being on the astral plane. I realize that sheer capitalist tendencies might enrage your delicate, humanitarian senses. You could give a portion to charity, just to make us all feel better. Or donate the excess to a local astrologer.

Pisces: It's a good month to "grid your loins" (or did I mean "gird your loins"?) because there are a number of problems, not big ones, mind you, just troubling little ones, which all seem to demand your attention. It's sort of like clean up from a difficult Mercury Retrograde. While ole Merc himself missed you, he did leave some litter that needs to be cleaned up.

Copyright 1997 by Kramer Wetzel

Please feel free too forward or repost, but please include everything done to the end of signature.

Quidquid latine dictum sit, alturum viditur

Sept. 13 & 14 Austin, TX (South)
Sept. 20 & 21 Midland, TX
Sept. 28 New Age Books [1006 S. Lamar, Austin]
Oct. 3, 4 & 5 Whole Life Expo Austin, TX
10" Maria at the Backroom, Oct. 3
Oct. 25 & 26 Austin, TX (South)
Nov. 8 & 9 Corpus Christi, TX
Nov. 15-16, Austin (North)

Check this out, Bubba: You can listen to an expanded version of your weekly forecast in the privacy of your own cubicle. Or on your home telephone. We don't care where you call from. Here's what you do: Call 1-900-990-9990 and tell them Bubba sent you. It's just $1.99 per minute and like anything fun in this world, you must be at least 18.

Bubba's new fax line is always open: 512/445-2850.