Fishing Guide the Stars

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Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
For the Week of 5/30-6/5/2002

"As many farewells as be stars in heaven. "
Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida [IV. iv. 44]

El Paso, last weekend [check listing for details] -- Pluto? Him and Mr. Saturn are about done, and theoretically, the worst of the Mercury stuff should be over. However, you're mileage may vary. Answer to last week's trivia question? None other than the author hisself wrote in:

> sign: Aquarius
> TalkToKramer: wham-o (by the way, I was more tolerated than respected - thanks
> for the plug!)
> Best,
> Tim

Gemini: We've been down this road, a time or two, and you're familiar with my warnings about Mercury being backwards and so forth. The problem being, as long as Mr. Mercury is out to rain on your parade, why not try something a little different? I was fishing one morning last week, and while my companion would try one lure with no discernible effect (i. e. , didn't catch anything), he would stop fishing and change the bait he was using, and then try the next one. He'd give each bait about two tries, then give up. I kept working the same thing, over and over. Early in the morning, that one lure didn't work for me. But as the mist burned off the lake, I started getting lucky. Luckier and luckier. Same lure, over and over. By the end of the morning, I was really "tearing it up" and my buddy had nothing but a bunch of wet lures, which didn't seem to be working. Instead of giving up, instead of switching gear (lures, bait, whatever), keep plugging along with what you're working with at first. See if a little repeated action doesn't get some results for your Gemini self. Worked on the lake here.

Cancer: There's this one astrology program I used, a while back, and it did this thing where it weighted the planets, and attached numbers to the areas of significant influence. I was going to do that for you, too, but it's looks a little lopsided. Odd, even. Jupiter and Venus in Cancer are good. Mars? He can go either way. Mercury backwards? That's certainly not hot. What's most important? Some combination of all of these influences, and there's no one way to assign a value to each planet's importance. If I had a more Cancer-like chart this week, I would buckle down and get to the lake. Get in a little bit of early morning fishing. It might be a little difficult to get the right fishing buddy to go with you, and for that, I would suggest someone without a lot of Cancer in his or her chart. Going this way stacks the odds in your favor. And even though it's a little hard to assign a number to any of this, there's still a chance, sort of last minute chance, that something comes through for you. But get an early start, and don't be surprised if your fishing buddy backs out at the last minute.

Leo: How does it feel? Like I've suggested before, no one is in the the proper "Leo Appreciation" mode these days. That's their problem, not yours. Okay, so maybe you feelings are getting a little ruffled because you're not be properly revered, but there's not a lot a I can do about that. I can tell you that I still love you, but you're going to look at me, and ask, "Where's the Leo Love, man?" It's there, but it's all written between the lines. It's not out front where you can see it. It's not a clear message. It's not up on some billboard, by the side of the road. Get the picture? It's there, and if you look carefully, you might be able to detect it, but it's not emblazoned in bold print, about this tall. It's the little, subtle messages you can pay attention to. Now, you've got all this magnificent Leo stuff in your chart, and it's time to figure out a way to use some of this good stuff. The stuff written between the lines. Pretend that you don't notice the stuff written between the lines, and act like you don't care. Just because you're feeling a little down due to lack of appreciation doesn't mean you should really be down.

Virgo: I thought that the term, "Cruising Main" was an expression that was sadly dated. But last week, I coming home from a late night out, and I came across a long line of Low Riders, a car club, and this long string of cars was part of a still active cruising phenomena. So people still cruise main, or cruise along a major traffic artery, on some nights. The idea of cruising main isn't so far-fetched for a good little Virgo like yourself. You need to do something that is a little different, something that gets you out in the public's eye, something that generates a little heat about the Virgo stuff you have going on. While I can't advocate cruising main as the exact way to do this, I still think the concept, as a whole, is a good idea. In fact, it brings back memories of just such behaviors for me. One place was a big street with lots of hotrod vehicles. Another was a small town, where I graduated High School, and the main street was actually called "Main Street." Cruising up and down it was a major social event. Find some sort alternative, major social event right now. You'll have more fun, if you let yourself go.

Libra: There's an old picture of me in front of my dream trailer, the place I would rather live, and in this picture, one eyelid is slightly lower than the other. The image is still floating around on the web some place. Funny thing about the picture, is it's a look Pa Wetzel gets, too. Usually, when he's looking like that, it indicates a degree of disbelief. My look, his look, and the way all your Libra types feel right now, is that same one of disbelief. It's not like things are spectacularly bad right now. It's just like things are not actually that wonderful, either. It's sort of in the middle, stuck someplace between "bad" and "good." Cock one eye like I do, like Pa Wetzel does, and give us that quizzical look. It's not that you shouldn't believe everything, but there's some evidence right now, something right in front of you, and this so-called "evidence" requires some more research. Be careful of taking something an expert suggests is factually correct, be a little more suspicious than usual about taking some facts at their face value. Try that look, if just for Libra emphasis.

Scorpio: I got tired of Ma Wetzel chiding me about the effects of Mercury being Retrograde. I'm sort of like an advanced warning system, sort of like watching the Doppler Weather Forecast, or better yet, sort of like watching that one weather guy who dresses funny. I'm sure many people think I'm even more amusing than that one weather guy, though. So no more picking on the astrologer! Mercury may be in the final throws of being backwards, but that's not really all that bad because you've read about it here, and you've been warned, and you were prepared this time. Sure, it didn't go like you expected it to go, but you've survived thus far. I'd really like to throw you some good news, too, but like that weather guy who is wrong more than 50% of time, I'm not sure you're going to be trusting of my message. Still, I think things, specifically relationship things, are looking up. Maybe not great, but one heck of a lot better than they have been. There is a light at the end of the Scorpio tunnel now. No, really there is. I can hear Ma Wetzel now, "Sure that's not a train?"

Sagittarius: I got to reading this book a fishing buddy passed over to me, a book about the fabled "Skunk Works" that produced all the stealth planes, the stealth boat and other military industrial complex stuff. Bombs, missiles, Cold War goodies, the U2, and so forth. It wasn't that interesting, other than the historical perspective, and I can't say I agreed with all the politics in the end, but the academic perspective got me to thinking about applying that same sort of stealth technology to a bass boat. How about making a boat that a fish can't "see"? I ran some of my ideas past my buddies, and I got laughed at by most of them. But one or two professional guides, like myself, started wondering. After a little research, one of the guys came back with an observation, "You can have a low radar signature (stealth) or you can have speed. " It's either too fast to get caught, or it's weighted down with a boatload (literally) of technological improvements. Pick one, for right now: stealth or speed. From what I've seen at the lake of life, speed seems to be a lot more expedient than stealth. Especially right now.

Capricorn: Forget the Mercury Retrograde astrology banter right now. Let's talk about boiling water. I make the morning coffee, for me and the cat, with boiling water poured into the grinds and filtered down. Works great, even if it is a little old fashioned. There are basically two ways to boil water in my trailer. I set a kettle on the electric stove, and I can either turn that burner to "high" or "low." There's not much in between. It's a cheap trailer, and I'm not sure the stove was really made to be used this much. On "high," it takes about two minutes for a roiling boil to be achieved. On "low," it takes like, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes. There's a more gentle, leisurely pace I associate with the "low" setting, too. Seems to take about forever. Sometimes I even forget, and it's not until I hear he gentle whistle that I realize the water is hot enough. Now, compared with that "high" setting, that generates a piercing noise in no time flat. Which is better? If I were the water, I'd like the gentle, casual, leisurely pace of the "low" setting. Wouldn't you? As much as you're in a hurry right now, try using the low setting on the Capricorn stove. You achieve superior results that way.

Aquarius: It's getting to the point that it's almost too warm to bother going fishing. In the middle of the day, out on the lake, it's just plain hot. Not like it will be in a few more weeks, but it's still pretty toasty. That's why it helps to get an early start to a good day's fishing experience. Or whatever adventure that your Aquarius self is getting loaded up for. Get an early start. Get out while the getting is good. Maybe set the alarm clock, and get up an extra hour earlier. Doesn't much matter what it is that you're doing, try and get a jump on the schedule. Get out there early. The later it gets, the more the heat index crawls upwards. The more time you spend out in that hot sun, the worse it gets. Get an early start. Do us both a favor. There's this little window of time, a slight indication that there's something going on, and the best time to get while the getting is good, is at the start of this weekend. Now, in other words. This sort of slides downhill after the weekend is over. I feel a little sorry for the folks who need to go fishing next Monday as the best times are over for a little while. Use this to your advantage. A little live bait, for whatever you're fishing for, works best.

Pisces: Ever notice that when something starts to go bad, suddenly, everything turns south? Like a single carton of milk in the ice box, it sours, and then, suddenly, overnight, everything tastes bad? I'm sure there's a scientific explanation for this, but I didn't do so hot in the advanced sciences. I just like working with little chemicals that blew stuff up and made huge clouds of smoke, much to the chagrin of various chemistry instructors. Probably a good thing I never got around to advanced physics, either. So you're in a position where you feel like playing at work. This isn't such a bad thing, not if you're the creative type (you are, by default, because you're a Pisces), but unfortunately, like that sour milk in my ice box, or those ill-fated chemistry projects, your attempts at levity -- for the sake of scientific advancement -- might not work out just the way you want them to. While I'll certainly find it amusing, and while you'll find it amusing, I'm not sure everyone around you will be equally thrilled with your little efforts. Careful that some gag doesn't blow up in your face, and that could sour everyone around you. I'll laugh. You'll giggle, but we might be the only ones doing so right now.

Aries: It usually occurs at first light, maybe just a few moments before, getting ready for the big bass fishing tournament, all those high-powered bass boats, the throbbing engines just barely ticking over, then the flag drops, and the race is on. Heading out of the bay, and onto the lake, and getting that big boat up on its plane is a wonderful experience. Hundreds of horsepowers churning out through the prop. Getting a boat out like that is usually referred to as "airing it out," as the term applies to getting a proper air to fuel mixture running through the big pistons. Or it refers to getting the boat up on it's plane, where it feels like it flies over the water. Or it could be interpreted in a number of ways. The deal is, you need to, "Air it out some, Bubba," as this week goes along. The problem is that no one is around who really wants to tag along in your wild ride. After you've asked a few friends to go along, "for the ride," and after you've been turned down, consider taking the boat out by yourself. No one seems to understand your need to "air it out" right now, so some things, you just have to do alone.

Taurus: As the summer sun (strictly speaking, it's really still spring time), but as the summer sun starts to crawl higher in the sky during a good day fishing, the best places to find the quarry is down in the shady spots. Working along the edge of the lake, it's a lot easier to for me to tell my clientele to land their bait, "Right over there in the shade. . . ." Usually works. Now, the problem being, you don't want to listen to my advice. But right over there, sort of at the edge of the dark spot in the water, that's where you want to land your bait now. A little plop, a small geyser of water, and you're good to go. The deal is, though, as long as Mr. Mercury is still backing up, he's not very compliant. I'd like to suggest that you aim for the shade, but you know, Mercury will play havoc with your aim. So what if it doesn't land right where you want it to? Fish where it lands. Aim for the shade, then play it wherever it winds up. You'll be surprised what sort luck your bad aim winds up bringing you. Mercury backwards is not always bad -- just different.