To: Fishing Guide to the Stars
from: KramerW@astrofish.net
subject: May Guide

Month of May, 2000
"Do I dare Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."
T.S. Eliot in his epic poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" (lines 45-8)

The biggest of the astrological news occur at the beginning of the month as the spring time (Northern Hemisphere) breaks open with a rather large planet alignment -- seven of them -- all of the "inner" planets are going to be in one place, one slice, one thirty degree quadrant of the sky, for the briefest moment of time. What's this going to mean? It took minutes of meditation, a sojourn to Lockhart, Texas (BBQ Capitol of the World -- oh the things I do to write a decent horoscope), and a little bit of study to work this one out. The only planets who are not in Taurus would be Neptune and Uranus, in Aquarius, and the lone planet player, Pluto, over yonder in Sagittarius. For the folks so inclined, the important celestial sight doesn't really occur until the latter part of the month, after the planets sort themselves out a little bit. The important thing to see happens right before sun up as the Jupiter and Saturn conjunction is visible, and especially bright, in the last few days of the month. But their effect? It will already be happening by the time you see them.

Aries : There is a tendency, especially with everything piled up in Taurus, to give into the typical (perhaps an incorrect assumption) that the things you use to define yourself, your material possessions, are more important than you really understand. Or maybe you're too attached to some things, and this is something that bears a little bit of close scrutiny. In the book that I've got, the quote is attributed to Tom Robbins, "There's a certain, Buddha like calm that comes from having money in the bank." And that's the problem with this month, if you're sitting in a good position with material assets, you're one happy camper. And if you're not sitting happy, then you're sad. But money isn't everything. And material possessions don't really define who you are. So there you have it. You're going to go around and around with this riddle for the better part of the month, at one time or another. Jupiter is giving you a new cycle, but Saturn is laying down the law, as it were. At the end of the month, by the time the planets are really shaking things up, what you use to define your personal "wealth" is likely to be a lot different. And if you are so inclined, you know how to reach me in order to share some of your new found assets.

Taurus : "Spiritual Renewal" is a handy buzz word for this month. It's also an escape clause, like a cheap way to avoid what's really at hand right now. So let's look at this month's planet line up: the beginning of the month finds the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus Mars, Jupiter and Saturn lined up in your sign. By the end of the month, a new cycle has started and yet, you still have Jupiter and Saturn doing their "up close and personal" thing in your sign. It means it's the start of a new cycle. While Saturn often restricts movement, Jupiter enhances it, so you're going to be pushed and pulled at the same time. Months like May, Year 2000 (conventional calendar) are a good time to consider why I like living in a trailer so much. I could, at a moments notice, hitch the trailer up to a truck and be gone. No that this is a likely scenario for me, or for you, but the idea is appealing. So I'm not sure that you really want to uproot yourself right now, my trailer has a patio, landscaping, a permanent mailing address, a couple of phone lines, you get the idea... and in a similar vein, you're rather firm about what you stand for, too. So I don't know that you're really going to "move" but you are going to reconsider the position of the place you're in. Consider a special form of Taurus-only "spiritual renewal," but come up with your very own definition.

Gemini : Just about every Gemini chart I have ever looked at has some planets arrayed in other signs. Like the sign right before you: Taurus. So even though there's this great upheaval of celestial events in Taurus, my wager is that you're not going to get the worst of this, not by a long shot. And there's also something nice about the Gemini lightening quick adaptability. Remember, there are those who have called you "flaky" in the past, and those very same detractors are going to wish that they could be as highly mobile and adaptive as you're going to be. The first of the big stuff in Taurus doesn't upset you too much, but as the month develops, first Mars, then Venus, then your little ruling orb, Mercury, all come slamming into your space. It's a good sign because the long term effects of the Taurus pile up suddenly kick into high gear for you. Time to do something about what's going on. And once again, my most excellent Gemini, your innate and adaptable nature is going to be called upon in order to save the day [this month.]

Cancer : The first time I was gripped with stage fright, I discovered that a unique blend of herbs, spices and suitable mind altering substances helped ease my pain. I'm afraid the blend didn't do much for the show, and ever since, I've been relegated to bit parts where I'm a character actor -- usually a Southern Preacher. Seems I do that part best. That's the problem with the Taurus line up and what follows the rest of the month, you don't want to get yourself set in a role that there is no escape from. So when the stage fright reaches up and grabs you by the the throat, do something to ease the fear. Maybe have a little stand off with the element itself. Your Cancer self in one corner and Fear in the other. If you don't face this unlikely problem, and I mean this element will grab you sooner or later, then you're going to be resigned to fate much like mine: you're stuck, playing a Southern Gospel Preacher, for the rest of your life. It's not a bad part, not for me, but you have aspirations to take yourself a degree further than just minor roles with a lot of vocal action. As the month progresses, you'll find that whatever it was that you were afraid can be dealt with AND you can overcome this fear.

Leo : The planet tug of war is going to have some adverse side effects. And as I was looking at the expression "tug of war" I began to develop an image of a tug boat, armed to the teeth, a little boat which is capable of maneuvering huge boats around the relatively tight confines of a bay. So even though I was looking for a different analogy, the tug boat idea keeps popping up. Pick the ship in the Houston Ship Channel that you want to realign. Fire up the big motor that's in your Leo belly, and work on that one ship. It looks like an oil tanker to me, one that's full of crude oil. As you push and push and try to nudge this bigger boat into a particular direction, you're going to be fighting the Taurus tide of planets. If you change your attitude this month, this Taurus tide will be much easier to work with. Since the planets are ever changing in their direction, you're going to find that your going to change some of your notions about how this tug of war thing is working. If you're willing to line yourself up with the flow of the tide, perhaps check a Solar Lunar Tide Table, you might notice that each day, it gets a little easier to move this big boat your trying to maneuver. By the end of the month, you might just be shoving it downstream and back out into the Gulf instead of trying to push it into a dock. Might work best if you are willing to head in that direction now.

Virgo : There's been a lot of doomsday stuff written about this month. If I didn't know better, I would suggest that I have written just that sort of diatribe about how this is the end of civilization as we know it. But the way this one looks for you, it's the end of one era of your Virgo life, and the beginning of a brand new era. There's always that one Virgo (you know who you are) who exclaims, "But I liked the old era better!" Before you get all nostalgic and sentimental on me, though, consider the effect of New Moons, and consider the symbols being represented here because, after all, astrology is nothing more than a series of symbols used to explain energies. The beginning of the month gives you a great opportunity to flush out the old stuff. It's like house cleaning (typical Virgo reference) only on a much grander scale. Once the housecleaning is done, once you've taken the old life down to the bare bones, then you get to start building up something new, better, and vastly improved. Every Virgo should be pleased to hear that there's a new and improved model by the end of the month.

Libra : Get up early this month, like in the first few days of May, get out and look to the east, right before the sun comes up. There are the morning stars. By the end of the month, you'll just be able to see these guys in the dying twilight of the evening sun, a couple of the planets, anyway. Why the star gazing this month? Because it's the easiest way to direct your attention outwards, onwards, may I even suggest upwards? There's an annoying tendency for some of the doomsday guys to predict the end of the world. To be sure, weather patterns have been a bit strange lately. I know, even in your neck of the woods, it's not like it's been a normal time. The problem with this month is that you're going to have a tendency to focus a little too close on matters at hand. You're tempted not to look beyond you're own nose, to be precise. If I can get you to look upwards, perhaps towards the distant horizon, especially in those magical moments right before sun up or right after sun down, you can awaken some sense in your spirit that you're supposed to be looking a little farther afield than you have been. That's what's most important this month. Stretch the limits of your Libra imagination. You'll be surprised at the results.

Scorpio : I was strolling along the "hike and bike"trail, around the lakefront here, and I came up with the perfect way to explain all this stuff in the heavens. Imagine that cool spring time (well, it IS spring time in Texas), and the path is overgrown with verdant, effusive growth creating a lush tunnel for the path. I was heading one direction and two joggers were approaching, on the far side of the path. Then there was this bicycle, and this guy was barreling along, earphones on, barely conscious of his surroundings. Me, (like a Scorpio this month) going one direction -- the bicycle at high speed, tires crunching on the landscaped trail, and the joggers all going the other driection. I simply moved to one side, and let the bicycle whip past the joggers and the joggers, unaware of the bicycle kept true to their path. By all rights, the bicyclist SHOULD have yielded to my (Scorpio) right of way. By all rights, I should have gotten injured, sued them and wound up with a lot of money and a disability conspiracy guy tailing me. By all rights, it was all their fault. My simple act of kindness, my simple gesture of good will, even though I was perfectly right, averted all this trouble. You've got a lot stuff coming at you this month, just step out of the way to prevent bloodshed, lawsuits and similar problems. Just because you're right doesn't mean you're right.

Sagittarius : I'm pretty beaten up over my prognostications for this "big astrological event" and at this point, I'm pretty sure you're tired of it too. Is it really that big of a deal? Sure, in some circles, it's the biggest of deals. In fact, I was hoping to be in a far flung location by the time the planets hit the fan, so to speak. Regrettably, I didn't make it. You might not make it, either. I mean, you might not make some of the distant locations that you're planning on getting to this month. Doesn't mean that this bodes no good, it's bound to have a decent surprise or two for you. I suspect the surprise or two comes in the form of a commitment, sometimes a bad word in my Sagittarius vocabulary, but I suggest that long term commitment is forthcoming. Something you thought you wouldn't do is likely this month. Of course, this can be traced to developing situations within the orb of the planets, but whatever the case, you're going to wind up a little happier as a result of whatever commitment it is, whatever you agree to. Just don't do like me, and agree to something under duress. Make sure you have a chance to think it all through before you sign on the dotted line, say "I do," or do the "blood brother" handshake.

Capricorn : Austin is a Capricorn town, that is, it was founded during the time of Capricorn -- an early January Birthday. And Austin (Texas) is home to many fine musicians. One of them really comes to mind, and his tune is called "Five Pound Bass" (Robert Earl Keen). In that song, he hooks the monster big fish, and when that fish first strikes, it looks like "a toaster!" According to ballad's lyrics, he's catching himself some breakfast, so there must be a play on words with the toaster oven reference. How does this affect you this month? It's just like that little, haunting melody about catching a five pound bass, it's like magic, and when it strikes, it looks huge. You've got just such a hit coming to your Capricorn fishing line this month. I would credit the planets, but you can credit your astrologer. The big line up in Taurus is very good for you, hardly the end of the world, but it's like the gaping maw of that fish -- it might feel like you've got something the size and weight of a genuine toaster oven on the end of your line. Like the song suggest, reel it in, breakfast is on the way!

Aquarius : I was searching for a proper literary allusion to help you understand the dynamics of this month. I turned, originally, to Thomas Stearns Eliot, the great (American? English? Both claim him...) poet. And the lines used for this month's introduction really do apply to you. With the planets all lined up at the beginning of the month in a fixed sign, but not your sign, there's going to be a degree of "disturbing the universe" just because you're going to feel like it's something you need to do. There's certain feeling that the universe needs to get itself rocked, by you. The trick, especially this month, is how you choose to cause this disturbance. You can yell and scream, create a large ruckus, or you can do it in a more gentle fashion. I prefer the more gentle fashion, these days. You want to make sure that your disturbance doesn't later require an apology. That's not a pretty sight, and it's not something I like having to do, and by extension, I'll assume you hate having to go back and say, "I'm sorry," too. Turn your attention to passive resistance, perhaps a subtle approach to this idea of staging a demonstration, and I'm sure you'll survive just fine. The Taurus line up is the beginning of the month, and then the planets begin to line up to give you a degree of relief as some of them meander on into Gemini.

Pisces : One of my hobbies is typewriters. Not electric typewriters, but the manual kind, the kind that depend on the mechanical transference of a finger's keystroke to make an impression through the inked ribbon onto paper. Terribly old fashioned, and to be honest, I can hardly type on the darn things. No "Delete" key, no "Forward Delete" key, and "cut and paste," I suspect, is something that's just not done unless it involves something really old fashioned like scissors and paste. Why should you be concerned with my strange collection of manual typewriters, my odd museum of dead letter devices? This is month when some old fashioned form of communication is what is going to work best for you. Forget the E-mail, unless you're sending me a credit card number. Forget the fax machine, although, it does fit in the category of an almost archaic medium by now. You might even skip the typewriter allegory all together. Maybe try a quill pen and some India Ink. I'm depending on you for some communication skills this month, but I'm not sure that the usual medium, the accepted, "modern" versions work well. There's a degree of permanence to the pen and ink thing, and as slow as it is, there's also a chance for you to pick the right word -- and that's the secret, making sure you communicate the most correct word. All I'm trying to do is buy a little time for you.

© Kramer Wetzel 1999, Y2K
http://www.astrofish.net
May 20-21 -- Midland-Odessa, Texas
June 3-4, El Paso, Texas
June 5-9, Big Sur, Left Coast [vacation]
June 17-18, Austin, Texas
July 15, Fredlet's Wedding

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