to: astrofish.net
from: KramerW@astrofish.net
subject: news for April
runtime: 4/2001

"They say miracles are past."
Shakespeare's "All's Well That Ends Well" [II.iii.1]
Let's hope not all the miracles are past, not just yet.

Astrological overview: Mars is slowing down, Venus is turning around and heating up, and the rest of the planets and signs are doing what they usually do. Late in the month, Saturn makes a triumphant return to Gemini, and Venus eventually winds up Taurus.

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Aries: There is a window of opportunity which hits late in the month. Sometime after the middle of the month, not long after the fateful tax day. I know you were planning to have all that tax stuff well out of the way by then, what with a contingency plan working as well, but seeing as how it's been such a weird spring time (it is spring time in the Northern Hemisphere, I guess if you're that one Aries in the Southern Hemisphere, it's been a weird, what? Fall?) -- anyway, it's been a weird one thus far, and you have to plan on making it to the end of the month. Yes, sometime after the official tax there's a good little break. Get ready to jump on it.

Taurus: Weird is as weird does. I know it's your birthday time, at least, at the beginning of the month, and I don't want to stop you from enjoying that, but make some serious plans, too. There are certainly a few problems with interpersonal communications right now, and instead of making this worse, instead of letting this problem communicating get to you, do something to let other folks know that it'll be okay. Do that, and enjoy the strange tone of the times.

Gemini: There's supposed to be a light, airy feeling to being a Gemini. Unfortunately, you ain't going to be feeling that right now. Not this week, not this month. The problem is not you -- no, the problem is "them." Which "them" is that? Could be a lot of different folks, but I usually allude to it the "Lesser 11," which means non-Gemini signs. Now look: every strange little nightmare seems to manifest itself at one time or another, your attitude helps deal with this stuff that pops up. Deal with at you see fit.

Cancer: Some folks need a good thump on the head to knock a little sense into their brains. I'm not one to advocate actually striking someone -- that looks too much like manual labor, and lord knows, I avoid hard work every chance I get. But you need a gentle thump to knock you off what you're doing, and then, get yourself headed down the correct pathway. This is a time when you tend to obsess about a certain details, and then, while worrying about one arcane point, you miss the whole picture. Thump. You've been picked up and corrected now.

Leo: No one loves Leo as much as I do. But this last few days have been less than kind, less than wonderful, and less than what you want. Get over it. Get back up on your Leo feet, quite thinking about how unfairly the planets have treated you (like it's really their fault?), and start making progress forwards. Or, borrow a scenario from a Cancer, if your forward progress is impeded, then work at going sideways. It's a little unusual, but you'll be surprised how sideways looks like forward motion by the end of this month.

Virgo: Think about it. Think long and hard. Consider that big step before you make it. It's a simple message, I can't emphasize it enough, but look before you leap. You get a good idea, you want to run with the idea, but look where you're putting your feet before you start bolting off. Trust me on this one, just be willing to consider something before impulsively answering "yes."

Libra: Communication becomes a challenge this month. This can be good, if you work with what's there. Your ability to get your beautifully packaged Libra note across is good. The deal is this: you launch your message onto the turbulent waves of electronic communication and hope that nothing gets twisted around. Worried about it? No, no way. You did keep a copy of what you sent, though. You did, didn't you?

Scorpio: I would suggest you're having a little bit of fun with the Mars thing. As long as he's poking around, poking along, in some other sign, he's torturing them a lot more than he's doing anything to you. Late in the month, you're going to feel something as the planets bump into other signs, but that's really no big deal, not for you. You are, after all, a good Scorpio, and good Scorpio's are built of strong stuff. There is a minor matter involving money, late in the month, though, and this will require a lot of attention. Don't forget to pay your astrologer.

Sagittarius: No sooner does one planet of romantic importance get hooked back up and flowing in a good, orderly direction, than another one takes it upon himself to slow down, causing a small degree of strife in the dating/relationship department. Be the gregarious, magnanimous Sag that you are, though, and don't worry too much about the individual problems. It's the little things that don't work out. But you might want to take a page from my book about romance, and start buying those "oh baby, I was so wrong, please, please, please...." cards. Get the groveling instincts back in form, you'll probably want them a little later.

Capricorn: There's this quizzical, bizarre look you get on your face, and no where does it show up more than this month. It's that look that suggests you're lost. Now, if you're like most of the Capricorn's I know, you're not really lost. But you might be a tad bit confused about the way things are going right now. When in doubt, as no doubt you'll be most of the month, but when in doubt, reach out to lend a helping hand. You'll find that goes a lot further than any other act.

Aquarius: You're none too sure about all the retrograde terms, and what all this astrology stuff is going to mean because, by the end of the month, you've got a new, more serious tone you're looking at. What are you going to do with it? I'd get serious about the business end of a relationship you've been entertaining. Move it over from entertainment and start to call it work. Or maybe it's the reverse of that, but the relationship arena of your life could use a little effort on your part.

Pisces: Chill out. There's a whole bunch of serious stuff going on around you, and the best way to handle this is to spend the greater portion of the coming month, parked in your trailer's living room, sitting on top of that recliner, doing what you do best. Instead of tackling tasks that require too much physical energy, why not see what you can do from that one position? A remote, the phone, a cool beverage, you get the idea. Maybe a pencil and some paper would help, too, to write down those all important phone numbers. And ideas.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 2000, 2001
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-- Kramer Wetzel

"Misery acquaints a man/with strange bedfellows."
Trinculo in Shakespeare's "The Tempest" [II.ii.39-40]