To: FGS Faithful
From: KramerW@aol.com
Subject: March 2000 Scopes

"Fashion wears out more apparel than the man."
Conrad in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing [III.iii.139]

Astrologic Overview for this month: The month begins with the Sun and Mercury doing that traditional Mercury Two Step dance wherein they pass each other in the sky. Mercury is still a recalcitrant planet, in Pisces, however. Venus catches up with this mess and lessens the effect, if only by a few degrees, by the Ides of March. Mars also goes into Taurus in late March, joining Saturn and Jupiter.

Mars is the first of the heat being applied to our astrological system in Taurus where everything is going to be headed for a big BBQ, Taurus style. Mars, Jupiter and Saturn can be observed right after sunset, too. While we're looking at planets, two planets which are not observable by the naked eye are in Aquarius, and one of those guys gets a lot of extra attention this month: Neptune. Posiedon's Trident gets a tension angle first from Jupiter and then from Mars, so that's going to rattle a few "fixed sign" cages. More questions? Read on. Better yet, order up your own report, personalized just for your planets, at the web site: http://www.astrofish.net.

Aries : There's always a degree of frenetic energy when Mars is in your sign, and this occasion, this month, is no different. At least half of you have already experienced this, and fortunately for every Aries, Mars is a good planet to you. He's not always nice to everyone -- I'm not naming signs here, but Scorpio's really don't always get along with his brash Martial behavior -- but you do. That's the good part of this month. The tough stuff is nothing more than a particularly problematic "Mercury going backwards in the sign which precedes you" thing. That means that you're stuck with covering ground that you've already covered more than once. It's like a boat motor I took apart last winter, completely stripped it, cleaned it, and put it all back together. There was just one piece which I should have replaced that I didn't replace, and that is a bearing at the very center of the engine. One of those little chores I avoided. Just like me, you avoided one apparently insignificant detail, and that's back to haunt you. The good news is I can tear that motor down and have it rebuilt in no time because I just did this last fall. You're in the same boat, so to speak, this is something that you get to go back and retrace all your steps, only this time you might actually do everything right. Which reminds me, I need to check those bearings again.

Taurus : By the end of the month, and if you pay close attention to my weekly reports, you'll be well aware of this, but by the end of the month Mars enters your sign. It's just that until Mr. Mars hauls his happy red self into your sign, you're going to feel a degree of irritation. That means most of this month is full of minor setbacks, little distractions which get you going off and following some senseless detail down to its apparently logical conclusion, and then you're back where you started, perhaps richer for the experience, but you're beginning to think it was all a waste of time, and this is a month that you don't want to waste any time, but then there's that persistent problem with Mars, and we're all back where we started. The first of the month holds a few surprises as something which was once hidden becomes readily apparent. Thanks go to Neptune and Jupiter for that. However, out of that hidden surprise, you're going to find a way to reap a little profit. This isn't the big bucks, not yet, but those are waiting for right around the next corner. It's just a matter of time. It's like the time I discovered I could cash in on all those empty cans riding around in the back of my truck. Never wanting to litter, I always tossed the empty cans in the bed of the truck. It turned into a tidy little sum, enough for a decent BBQ lunch one day. Same thing will be delivered to you by Jupiter this month. Might not be that great, but you get to cash in on an old problem (litter) and wind up with a little change.

Gemini : This month marks a strange time for just about every Gemini that I know. There are many good things going on this month, but it will feel like none of this is happening to you. In some respects, it is NOT happening to you. However, if you can take a long range way of looking at things, then you'll see that there is hope and relief, just over the horizon. Speaking of the horizon, cast a Gemini towards the heavens, just after sunset and see the planets as they begin to line up iin the sign before you. This is a nice chance to stop and reflect on what's going to be going on with you. Starts this month, too. You know the Mercury stories, so I won't bore you with those details. You need to be aware that your innate understanding of the underpinnings of the world are in a constant state of flux right now. It's like the believing in the cosmic glue of love that holds everything together, only, you find out that it's not glue at all, but more like duck tape. Personally, I prefer Duct Tape which I have personally tested at over a hundred miles an hour on a race track. You might want something like this, too, because you're going to need to develop a little more ability to stick to a project this month. You've just got to see this thing all the way through. Giving up ahead of time looks like defeat. Develop a degree of stubbornness which is not very Gemini like, and stick to that one goal assiduously. And don't get forlorn if you feel like you're all alone -- it's the big picture that I'm urging you to look at. Stick to the details and the picture will come in focus.

Cancer : When Mercury is retrograde, any number of situations can get reversed. As long as you have a decent understanding of the mechanics of Mercury (the planet), then you're in good shape. The month kicks off with the little planet doing a big time dance, and this little maneuver might feel a little more like an aerobics instructor with too much coffee trying to push your Cancer heart into the red zone. Before you collapse, though, make a few considerations, like, "Do I really need to push myself this hard?" No, you don't need to push yourself this hard, and this work out might not actually be coming from some one else, it might really be your own, built-in instructor in your head. That little voice is going to keep playing that same message about your inadequacies for most of this month. Personally, I've never found a Cancer to be inadequate in any way. In fact, I figure just about every Crustacean is above average. So you have a choice as you face this month, are you going to listen to a dance instructor in your head who is trying to kill you, or are you going to listen a Sag astrologer who has nothing but your best interests in his heart? You can listen to both, but choose you actions carefully, and make an effort not to strain yourself -- too much -- this month.

Leo : One phenomenon I've observed with Mercury Retrograde periods has to do with the one of the levels of hell, as defined by Dante's Inferno and interpreted by another astrologer who once suggested that the 8th level of hell was reserved for all your former lovers. Now, in keeping with the fashion of the month, I would suggest that something is going to come back to you this month. It might be a terribly "retro" style -- perhaps it's one you've seen before, like the brief romance we all had with Disco Styles a few years back. As much as we would all not like to go back to clothing that is all artificial, and as much as you would like to stay away from these old fashions, it looks like something is coming back to visit you. I have to wonder if there is one level of hell which is set up like a 30 year old disco, and guys with chains and women in heavy makeup are circulating the floor, eying each other like predatory game animals. Mercury is going to bring all this back to us. It's not just Mercury, but don't plan on getting rid of anything or anybody this month. In fact, expect a few details that you thought you had successfully dealt with, expect those guys to show back up. It's not bad, but there is something you should have attended to before, and it's back.

Virgo : There was this one Virgo, carefully attired, always immaculately dressed and coiffed, and this Virgo comes to mind when perusing your chart for this month. I can see her now, loudly ranting about the weather and her hair. There are "bad hair" days. Then there are days when the personal attire seems to respond to forces outside of your Virgo control. And this is a whole month of this stuff -- a slightly disheveled look accompanies this month. It's a nothing more than a subtle combination of Mercury's backward and forward motion which puts constraints on the amount of time you would like to devote to personal hygiene and wardrobe concerns. That, and there planets beginning to line up in Taurus is also going to add a certain amount of scheduling problems to your month. The problem with the schedule could be easily remedied if another two hours could be worked into every day. Would that I could do that, I would because I value Virgo's so highly. But I can't arrange for the time extension, so you're going to be coerced to work with what's there. Times being what they are, I would just pretend like your fashion statement is really "avant garde" styles, and pretend like you're on the cutting edge of what's hip. It never hurts to be ahead of the game. And even if you don't feel like you're on top of it all, playing like you are really helps.

Libra : I want you to stop, at some point this month, and go through your closet. I know you're wondering about this concept, but it is March, and in the Northern Hemisphere, it is time to consider a little spring cleaning. And maybe it's not really your closet that needs the attention, but there's some place where you've got to go back and look through the old stuff, and consider calling up a salvage yard to haul off what's there. There are various charities which are more than willing to take you old and used clothing, or whatever it is that's lurking in your closet. But before you toss anything out, before you get rid of it all, consider that you might just lose a little weight this spring, and then those old outfits will fit again. I've got one pair of jeans which is close to two decades old, and I keep hoping that I might fit in them again. Sure. The other problem with delving into this closet is that there's the ever present idea that fashion is rather fickle, and it might just come back around again. So these are some weighty decisions that you face this month. What do you want to throw away and what do you want to keep? While a certain Gemini comic book character would suggest that you "Do nothing and avoid criticism," I doubt you can follow that sage advice. But be careful about what you discard this month because you might want to wear it later.

Scorpio : Stealth is an important quality to a good Scorpio, and this month is no different. In ancient times, a minor deity would appear and wrap a cloud around a particular human so that this character could move with a degree of stealth. This month, if you are so disposed, you might make a supplication to some such deity and ask for a little help with your bumbling around. The problem with a mythological cloud that envelopes you, and the current state of the planets is that the idea is certainly appealing,m but it doesn't work if you try this yourself. I'm thinking about a particular scene with my good friend Bubba, while he was trying to BBQ stuff on his grill, he was completely engulfed in a cloud of smoke. The only thing we could see was the meat was getting a little too well done. So be careful with your own cloud which is supposed to cloak your activities this month. What might happen, if you not careful, is that the only your vision will be blocked. Nothing is worse for a Scorpio than to have all the little secrets laid out there for the rest of us to see. Scorpio Bubba's secret ingradient in BBQ seems to be cigars ashes, from what the rest of us have observed.

Sagittarius : This is a month to enjoy yourself, and as long as Mercury is pushing your "play" button, make sure that you have the right tape loaded in the Sagittarius VCR. You're going to find that you want to be careful about what stories you choose to recount at a time like this because not everyone finds your tales of adventure that interesting., I know they are interesting to me. I know that you find them highly amusing. And we both know that you can tell the tale in such a way as to really amuse an audience. It's just that your audience might not fully understand you at this time. They might be getting bored. They might start to laugh at the serious stuff, and, worse yet, yawn at your jokes. This isn't what you want for your month. Do like I do at time like this: write it all down because you've certainly got some good material to work with. It's just that you delivery might be a little misunderstood right now. It's not all your fault, I tend to blame the planets because that's easier than accepting responsibilty for my actions. In the same way, keeping a record of the good stuff and keeping it to yourself this month might have innumerable benefits because I'm pretty sure your jokes will entertain and enliven all our friends -- later.

Capricorn : This month is divided neatly into two halves. One half is full of more than its normal and allotted share of frustration, defiante silence, and problems plagued by movements or misfires. In fact, it's like an old truck I had, the carburetor would rattle itself loose, and then there was an ever present smell of raw gasoline even though the vehicle wouldn't move forward at a very fast pace. That's what one half of the month feels like. The other half of the month is all sweetness and light. The shade tree mechanic lifts your hood, pulls out a special screwdriver, and tightens everything down, and suddenly, you're running along smoothly again. Better yet, since this is about a thirty second job, he just looks at you and says, "no charge." Suddenly, everything is good. The Ides of March are usually a time full of fear and trepidation, especially if you're Roman leader. But Capricorn is special sign, and it's a sign that sometimes gets stuff backwards. So the middle of March is a turning point. It's like that shade tree mechanic who takes one look at you in a forlorn state, one look at the carburetor, and fixes it out of sympathy. Then you're off and running with the rest of the month being smoother and smoother. It just keeps getting better.

Aquarius : Clothes may make the man, but clothing doesn't determine what the Aquarius is really like. And the clothing and personal attire stuff is going to come under a degree of scrutiny this month. The best thing I can suggest is it is high time to put off going on over to the mall to shop. Or to Wal-Mart, where I get most of my finer forms of attire. I'm not sure that this is such a hot month for dressing yourself up. There's a degree of illusion this month which is brought about by the relative exit of Venus and the Jupiter and Mars angles in your chart. While this can excite you to new heights, it can also come right along and knock your feet out from underneath you. And then, after you've rolled around in the dust for a spell, you're going to think to yourself, "Self, I can either wash these clothes, or just go and pick up something new...." and that's when that whole idea of purchasing clothing comes streaming back into your brain. That's also why I'm warning you about making choices under this planetary influence right now. While it looks good when it's on the plastic display model at the store, while it looks good in the window, and while it all seems to fit just fine in the dressing room, once you get it out of of the store and wear that outfit more than once, you're going to be questioning your own judgment. And if you don't trust me, ask what some of your friends say. It's not a bad month to solicit an outside opinion.

Pisces : Mercury isn't a bad planet, it's just that the orbit of Earth is such that Mercury occasionally has an undesirable effect on the rest of us. And most Mercury perturbations miss the lovely sign of Pisces. I'm afraid that it just isn't so this month, not at first. Supposedly, the worst of the retrograde period is over by the first days of this month. And then, by the middle of the month, the whole thing is over and life goes back to being normal. Of course, there's always the onslaught of Venus as she begins an annual trip through your sign, but I tend to regard this as a good "thang" for my fine Fish friends. About the time the Mercury dust begins to settle, the Venus dust begins to get itself in gear. The latter part of this month is going to be like a theatrical device from Shakespeare's Midsummer's Night's Eve," the bit with the fairy dust on the sleeping eyes, and you fall in love with the very next thing you see. And as long as Venus is in your sign, I would worry about picking artwork, picking out a new car color, picking a new computer design, that sort of thing. You might find that your tastes more closely approximate my sartorial splendor which is to suggest, you might not like the flashy stuff when Venus has passed. Although, I must admit, my tastes in Hawaiian shirts is good because both gravy and hot sauce disappear on the patterns. I'm not sure that your delicate Pisces self will like such wardrobe enhancements after Venus has moved her lovely self on to other signs.

© Kramer Wetzel, 1999, 2000

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