Aries : On the highway of life,
there are some bumps. Sometimes, this road feels like a corrugated dirt road,
too. In fact, part of the early part of the month is going to feel like washboard
dirt track. It's not bad, and monster truck suspension works just fine on
it although some of your internal body organs might complain about the apparent
lack of response in the truck's suspension. Navigating down this dirt road
is a little tricky at times like this because it feels like the truck is not
firmly connected to the road. This is due to a perturbation in the planets'
orbits. It's not so bad, once you realize that you really are making good
time, it's just that your usually good Aries vision is getting a little blurred.
It might be the dust that you're kicking up. It might be the endless expanse
of sand and mesquite. It might be the questionable surface of the road. A
normal person would slow down. An Aries, though, might just go ahead and take
these rough spots with typical Aries speed, hoping to bounce from one berm
to the next. I suggest you slow down a little this month. The bumpy road is
due to Mars in Virgo, and the Sun in Libra. Once you get past the first part
of the month, the road turns into solid black top and you can really make
up some of the time you lost early on.
Taurus : On some occasions, ignorance is bliss. Or, to phrase it differently,
it's like telling the officer that I was sure the posted speed limit was 95
(not 65, sir), and that's why, when I was clocked at close to hundred miles
an hour, I was sure that I wasn't that far over the limit. The officer didn't
find it amusing, but he did suggest, since he had less than hour left on his
shift, and he didn't feel like going down to the county courthouse, he was
only going to write me up for twenty miles over the posted limit. With Mercury
in slow motion in the far side of the zodiac, you're going to find that your
pleas of miscommunication fall on deaf ears. In fact, trying to act like you
didn't know is just going to exacerbate the situation this month. First, Mercury
pushes you one way, then he pushes you another way. But like my small amount
of luck with the Highway Patrol, you're not going to get in as much trouble.
However, when I'm in my Taurus boots this month, I will have a very artfully
prepared story and explanation for everything. This is a recommended course
of action, just don't trying pleading ignorance, unless you can do it a humorous
fashion.
Gemini : There are two items worthy of your perspicacious Gemini consideration
right now. Number one: Mercury is going to be in Scorpio all month long. Number
two: Mercury is going to do a retrograde action around the middle of the month.
And what does that mean to you, my fine Gemini friend? This is going to be
the ultimately weird month. It's not like you really get along with the whole
Mercury in Scorpio thing to begin with, and its action wherein it slows down,
stops, and then appears to move backwards relative to the other planets is
going to throw you into a dizzying spiral. Is this a downward spiral, or is
it an upward spiral? I would suppose it depends on whether you're in the Northern
Hemisphere or the Southern Hemisphere, and the direction of the spiral you
get tossed into has to do with the Coriolis Effect. By the end of the month,
though, I'm pretty sure you're going to feel like you are in the wrong place
at the wrong time. It's just the evil little movements of your ruling planet
and he's just assuring you that there is some mischief afoot right now, just
something to shake you up a little. The trick with the tricky planet is not
to let this get to you too much. Your ability to deal with stress is going
to be tested this month, and there's a problem at work that you were sure
you had already fixed (remember: a Gemini brain is, on the average, twice
as fast as any body else's.) With this month's arrangement of the planets,
I would just start taking it easy, and learn a degree of patience. Let me
know which way the spiral goes this month.
Cancer : I'm only really looking at two planets for you Cancer guys this month.
In my test samples at the "Fishing Guide to the Stars Beachfront Research
Laboratories", the Crabs are under twin influences right now. One of
them would be Mars, and this "Mars in Virgo" thing is having a little
more impact that you thought it would. The other one is the Mercury Effect,
which might be a good title for a book. But the plot's a little thin because
it's all about review and revision. It's like sending out a copy of your text
file to a copy editor and having it come back full of grammatical mistakes,
erroneous information, and wondering who stuck all this words in here -- things
you would never say. You get to puzzle this stuff out all month long. And
with Mars compounding this scenario, you can occasionally get a little hot
under the collar about it all. Do like I do: keep a back up copy of this month's
plan ready, in its original version, and be prepared to refer back to your
original plan in order to help with this month's planetary turbulence.
Leo : The downside of the Mercurial effect of the messenger of the gods is
well-documented in numerous locations. It would be really easy if you could
learn to have a comical and humorous approach to what the little planet will
do to your sign this month. Keep it light. Regrettably, there's also another
hit you're going to take, "It's terrible, isn't it?" Leo's have
such a dramatic way about them, taking marginal news and making it awful.
No, it's not that bad, but I would direct you to consider how to draw the
line between "who you are" and "what stuff you own." In
other words, don't assume that you MUST have a Purple 1968 Coupe De Ville
convertible Cadillac in order to be all that you are. This is one of those
months when you should question yourself about whether you really need a classic
like that in order to be the most Leo person you are. Personally, I would
prefer an elderly Lincoln Continental, but I'm not a Leo. In either case,
though, be cautious about identifying your own self with what you drive. Sometimes,
outward affectations are nothing more than that -- it's what's inside that
really counts.
Virgo : This month, Mars is firmly entrenched in the sign of Virgo. It covers
approximately 20 degrees from the first of the month to the end of the month.
As such, it would indicate that Mars is bound and determined to hit just about
EVERY Virgo I know at some point. And I wouldn't complain, except that Virgo
is the sign most likely to point out a grammatical error. Virgo's seem to
relish going through all the text with a fine tooth comb and finding any snarls.
[Or snarling at what they find.] And then, since it is their lot in life,
these Virgo's are determined to inform me about anything which I do that is
not right by their standards. So, does it sound like I'm whining? Sure. And
looking at Mars this month, and comparing his energy to a sweet and delicate
Virgo energy, I see a ham-fisted fool trying to coerce you into something
you don't want. That's when the complaints start. So as long as Mars is doing
this to you, don't fire off those poison pen notes at me. Exercise and activity
of just about any kind is far more useful that sitting there and throwing
evil looks at your astrology buddy. I'm not the enemy, and you'll cool down
from this Martian stuff as soon as you get out and burn up some of that energy.
Then write me a thank you note, instead.
Libra : Libra is always a special time of the year. It's supposed to be a
national holiday because there are so many important Libra birthdays this
month. And then Scorpio starts, and that's good news, too. But there's something
going on, and Libra is really stuck this month with a pair of conflicting
commands. Little planets can affect moods in a big way. Like the whole Mercury
and Venus stuff that's going. This is -- relatively speaking -- a positive
event, considering where it falls in your chart. Pa Wetzel is a Libra, and
he once got an upgrade on a long airline flight, not because he was who he
was, nor the miles, but because he was flying with me, and the ticket taker
recognized me. This month works like that, you get some breaks, and not because
you deserve them (which Libra does), but because you happen to know the right
person at the right time. The conflicting side of this equation is that Mars
is in the sign before you, all month long. This is not considered a good place
for Mars. So when you're busy claiming your son is a famous astrologer, go
ahead and receive the accolades, don't worry where they are coming from. Those
astrological upgrades might come from the strangest of places as long as Mars
is kicking around where he is. And be careful because some of your friends
don't need to know that you have an astrologer in your immediate family.
Scorpio : Every last one of you Scorpio's is going to have to deal with the
effect of Mercury this month. It is not going to be pleasant. It's going to
put you in position where you feel itchy and scratchy. If the other people
in your life would just do what you know to be best, then the world would
work out in perfect order, and there wouldn't be any problems this month.
One of my Scorpio fishing buddies is going to be particularly difficult this
month. I can see this coming. In fact, I think I will do my best to politely
avoid his company. It's not bad, it's just he thinks he knows what is the
best bait to use. In fact, he might be right, but the way the planets are,
especially within Scorpio, I would keep using my idea of what's best (even
though it doesn't come close to what his idea of best is), and I wouldn't
catch a thing. In fact, some of my stink bait might even scare the fish away
from his hook. So even though Scorpio is certainly correct this month, you're
going to find that you are saddled with a fishing partner who is bound and
determined to cause irritation. If the world was a better place, maybe we
could all take a lesson from Scorpio, and learn to listen to you guys. Unfortunately,
the way this month looks, we ain't listening to Scorpio, and that can be a
cause of frustration. Nothing is worse than being right, and not having anyone
acknowledge it. It's a lonely travail, but that's what this month looks like.
Even though you are, of course, absolutely correct, don't waste time trying
to prove it to the rest of us.
Sagittarius : Kick back, relax, and enjoy the perturbations in the planets'
relative movements this month. There's a kicker at the beginning of the month,
and similar one at the end, so it doesn't much matter, at one point, especially
in the first few days of October, some particular person (we're not naming
names, but you know who you are) is going to "get your Sagittarius goat."
It's an old expression wherein some other sign does his (or her) dead level
best to piss you off. It's some oddball combination of planets, and the anger
is really not worth the energy. Won't get much accomplished. Be a noble scholarly
Sagittarius, look at the academic point of view. Study the problem and the
possible actions and reactions. Don't blow your top -- ain't worth it this
month -- besides, that energy has a tendency to fly back on you, especially
considering that Mercury will be going retrograde. Consider what's written
for Scorpio this month, too. Just about every Sagittarius chart I've ever
considered has a little dash of Scorpio some place in it, so this applies
to you. Besides, the whole Mercury thing is in the sign which precedes you.
Means it's a great time for all sorts of demons to bubble up from your subconscious.
Take them out, let them have a little breath of air, look at them, and don't
worry about it -- everyone I know has a few of these dark secrets, and being
a Sagittarius, you're a little more willing to tell us about them. Now that's
the hint for this month, maybe we don't all want to listen to your dark secrets.
So let these guys out, but maybe, just don't announce them to the world.
Capricorn : For a several years, I served as a moderator for a couple of online
mailing lists. One was for jokes, another was a clearing house for astrology
information. One had thousands of subscribers, another just had a few hundred.
I made the mistake, once, of sending a joke to the astrology list. Bad mistake.
And that's what this month is like. You have some information to disseminate,
and you figure it wouldn't hurt to let a lot of people know about this. Just
don't make the mistake of sending one piece of information to the wrong place.
Another example would be an ill-timed "leak" (from an anonymous
Capricorn source) to the press. Again, it's like that time the joke would
up in the hands of thousands of astrologers, right idea, but it only served
to irritate the most self-righteous of the readers. Be extra careful, especially
after the first few weeks, about what information you release for the masses
to consume. Nothing is worse than sending the right information, but at the
wrong time, out so every one can see it. This looks like you "airing
your dirty laundry" and having suffered through this once, all I can
suggest is that it's not a good idea. I hate it when everyone gets to see
my dirty drawers. You don't need to do that this month, either, so be extra
cautious. Check exactly what it is BEFORE you hit the "send" button.
Aquarius : One of the many attributes that I so dearly love about Aquarius
that they have an innate ability not to manipulate a situation to their own,
personal advantage. They just don't get it, and that's fine with both of us.
You guys just don't have the ability to steer people where you want them to
go, not if it involves nothing more than your own, personal, Aquarius gain.
But while everyone else is moaning about this month with "the planets
this" and "the planets that" your Aquarius world offers up
a chance for you to twist a situation around for your own, personal gain.
Rather than sink into the dubious world of "insider trading," though,
I'm merely going to warn you that it's not a good idea to step on anyone this
month. Do you're best not to be a major source of irritation to others. In
fact, in at least one of your "interpersonal" dialogues this month,
you are going to be very clear about what your message is. That's good. Unfortunately,
what with Mercury leaning on you hard all month, your clear message doesn't
make it across to the significant other that you are attempting to communicate
with. At times like this, a little bit of mental telepathy would evoke mental
empathy. Regrettably, not many other signs are as advanced as Aquarius and
thus, they don't get a chance to really understand where you're "coming
from." Okay, so don't run over anyone this month in your struggle to
get to the top, and don't worry that the rest of "us" aren't getting
whatever your deep message is. It's a good month not to try to use fancy fishing
metaphors because your audience might not rise to the bait.
Pisces : Mars spends all month on the opposite side of the zodiac from you.
This is going to be either good, really good, or occasionally disastrous.
At one point or another, Mars will traverse an exact spot opposite your Pisces
Sun. Let's say that you divided up the responsibilities for a fishing trip
amongst several friends. Let's say that one of the guys is supposed to bring
the food, another is supposed to bring the beer. And you've got the boat and
the camper. Here's the problem, one of your "associates" is going
to let you down. Just when you get to a mission critical point, just when
Mercury is turning backwards, just when Mars is opposite you, the weak link
becomes rather apparent. This sets a negative tone for the whole endeavor.
What can you do to prevent this from happening? The first option is to do
it all yourself. I realize this trip required a lot of planning, and I realize
that you can't do it all your Pisces self, but make sure you've got everything
covered. Maybe even check twice. Go over the list, and make sure hat your
friends are bringing the right brand of what it is that you're going to need.
Make sure that you have a little extra whatever stashed, just in case someone
fails to uphold his (or her) end of the bargain. You'll be ever so much happier
then. Nothing is worse than getting to some remote location and discovering
that there isn't enough of a certain kind of supplies in order to fully enjoy
yourself.
