Week of: 1/10-16/2000

"Unbidden guests
Are often most welcome when they are gone."
Bedford in Shakespeare's Henry VI, part uno, [II.ii.55]

It's like having folks come and stay on the couch at your trailer. Shakespeare certainly knew what he was talking about, no joke there. The Elvis Birthday was last week, and there's a shrine to the King in a particular South Austin music place, the Continental Club (on South Congress). There's a bust of The King, surrounded by twin pillars. You get one guess, tell us what the pillars are. No, not what the pillars are made of, what are those icons? Correct answers are in the running for a free "El–Cheapo" astrology report, delivered via E–mail.

A decent Virgo sent this in as a winning entry to last week's question:

>The woman who plays Gabrielle, Xena's subliminal lesbian luv interest, is
>the daughter of the owners of Threadgill's. I believe her name is Wendy.
>
>Yes, I have watched Xena, Warrior Princess a few times. And, yes, I find
>it mildly entertaining. It would be more fun if they would just get over
>it and french kiss for about sixty seconds.

or the Gemini approach:

>This one's almost too easy. The connection between the Xena series and
>Austin is that Gabrielle, Xena's feisty sidekick, is played by Renee
>O'Connor, Eddie Wilson's feisty stepdaughter.

or the Scorpio:

>The Xena connection: Renee O'Connor's mother and stepfather
>live in Austin [and, according to Tom's Xenafan.com site, "oversee
>THREADGILL'S WORLD HEADQUARTERS -- the Austin, Texas, Landmark of Southern
>Comfort Food."]
>
>submit: Submit to FGS

Aries : Jupiter is supposed to be good luck. Supposed to be all good luck, supposed to be all the time. And that means this is supposed to be a good week. And with all that "supposing" going on, you know that I have a little bit of a warning. The Sun and Jupiter do a little bit of an uncomfortable face off this week. They are in slightly different areas of the sky, and this is going to make you a little uncomfortable. So that big lottery win, that trophy fish, that one prize you were counting on, that might not happen this week. In fact, it might not happen at all. It can happen next week, but that's so far away, I'd just put it off for the moment. So deal with some of the frustrations this week and realize that it's just Jupiter pushing the Sun around, or maybe it's the Sun leaning on Jupiter and expecting him to hurry things along. It might get a little touchy this week, but you know that next week, things go back to being good again.

Taurus : Work with me here. Maybe not work with me — I have a predisposition against hard work — but I mean, work with someone. You have some goals set, now adjust the sights on your methods of accomplishing what you want to accomplish, and then get after it all. And work with me. Or rather, work with us. The idea is that you can get a lot done this week, but you're stuck having to use everyone as an available resource in order to get this done. And the most unlikely people will be helpful this week. It's like a game warden, a park and wildlife guy (the ones with the hats and the guns) who comes along and you figure, "Oh great, I don't have the Y2K license yet...." All he wants to do is explain that there's a better place to fish, just over there. See what I mean about work with us this week? It could reap you some benefits as long as you don't jump to any hasty conclusions.

Gemini : Did you ever have one of those days when no matter what you do, it seems like everyone is determined to interrupt your orderly flow of business? It's like the UPS girl, or that FedEx guy. I have an overnight package that has to go out today, I arrange for them to find my trailer, and I hop in the shower. Doesn't matter what time of day I decide to take a shower, as soon as my hair is full of shampoo, as soon as I have soap on my face, as soon as it's the worst possible time, there's a loud knock on the front door. I've tried doing this fourteen different ways. Happens every time. "Sure, dude, I just wait around the corner until I hear the water running...." is what one driver said. Your week feels like that. Some one is going to interrupt at the worst possible time for you personally. In fact, you're going to have a week of this. You might want to avoid bathing altogether this week — that's what I will do.

Cancer : When someone looks at my business card, and sees the title of Fishing Guide I instantly get all sorts of stories about fishing. My favorite was about a particular reservoir here in Texas. There had been an old stock tank with a copse of trees growing along one edge of that stock tank. Then it was all flooded and turned into a giant lake. That old tree lined tank made for a good place to fish. That's important this week because you need to learn how to listen to what other people tell you. If you can keep your mouth shut long enough for the other person to rattle on about this and that, you're going to discover some really good fishing tips, like that old set of trees now under water. Of course, the metaphor runs deeper than that since you might have to use a good underwater sonar fishing device to find out just where that one good spot is. But at least, after this week, you know what you're looking for.

Leo : Clarity of expression is important this week. I once patiently listened to a Yankee complain about the Texas vernacular. This lad was asking just who in the heck "Heidi" was, why did everyone keep calling him "Heidi"? Of course, it's obvious to anyone who has encountered a friendly Texan, the expression is a common one. In the longer version, it looks like this, "Heidi, har chew?" It's a friendly opening phrase, and it makes much sense to us. Of course, that poor Yankee just didn't get it. So when you're speaking in your common tongue this week, I would urge you to consider making a little extra effort at properly enunciating the phrases. And if you're stuck trying to communicate with someone from a foreign land, make that extra effort to get them to understand just exactly what it is that you are saying. Communication skills, especially verbal communication skills, are important this week.

Virgo : In every relationship, there is a certain need to let your partner know just what is up, let them know just what is going on. This is a good week to do just that. Now, don't drop your old fishing guide astrology buddy a note just to let him know that you don't like this advice. Instead, try composing a short poem for your significant other, the cat, maybe your boss — something nice to let them know what is up. It's a 50/50 shot this week. That's why I like the poetry idea. Of course, with a good net connection, you can also search through Shakespeare's Love Sonnets and steal something, too — not that I'm above doing that myself. So now that you know where to find the nice words, just figure out how to mold them to fit your situation. It's that Mars in Pisces thing, again.

Libra : There is a great day a–coming, and it feels like it is just around the corner. In fact, it is. The way I cast a chart for the week, for Libra, it shows that this good stuff hits on the weekend. Now, my timing is not always precise, but it's usually pretty good. That means the time going towards the weekend, the time when you are supposed to be working, is spent in anticipation. It's like you are sitting there, in a boat, waiting for the fish to take a nice, big, healthy bite out of your bait. Of course, it's really too cold to be fishing in Texas this week, but you get the idea. Now, the problem with anticipation is that you are going to find yourself alone some of this week. That creates a problem for you. The relief, like that fish biting, is right around the corner.

Scorpio : It all started a long time ago. It started as a joke. It wasn't meant to get a life and take off on its own. But there you have it. I have collection of numerous example of fine Mexican art. Black Velvet canvases, to be a little more precise. Fine artwork of a rather unique collection. You're going to find that you've got a joke just like this — maybe you mentioned it as a sarcastic comment one time, and suddenly, you find yourself up to your ears in some sort of strange collectible thing — like black velvet paintings. If you truly do appreciate fine art, then this is a good week to demonstrate that. Consider getting out to the swap meets, flea markets and similar venues to find what you need to complete your collection.

Sagittarius : It's a good time for some reconciliation. Time to put last week's little problems behind you, pony up to the bar (so to speak) and tell that one person, "You were right, I was wrong, I'm sorry." This is, of course, an abbreviated version of a special Gemini line I've learned. More than one Gemini has verified that this works. Why worry about eating a little mud this week? Venus is done with her Sagittarius and Pluto dance, and now that it's done, you can go back and seek forgiveness for your past indiscretion(s). Groveling is not necessary, and I can hardly recommend it with a good conscience, but you know, it ain't a bad idea. Just a for a little while. The pay off is good this week. Remember our office maxim, "It is always better to seek forgiveness that ask permission."

Capricorn : There's still a little bit of that impending doom feeling which races around the back part of your mind right now. You feel like a bunch of your poker buddies have gotten together, and you feel like they are planning a big surprise party for you. While the idea is a nice one, and that's a special tip of the hat to one Capricorn out there, I can't promise that there's really a party in the works. This is going to lead to an interesting dynamic for this week: you're worried that there is a big bash planned, and you're worried that everyone forgot. Either way, try to keep your schedule a little more open than you usually do. It's going to be a good week, once that dark cloud passes over. As a special note: the older a Capricorn gets, the better he or she looks. Trust me on this one and celebrate.

Aquarius : Smack dab in the middle. That's where you guys are. It's like being in the middle of the lake, on a good day for fishing, and you get this restless urge to try another spot. You motor over there, and then, you see somebody else do really well on the far side of the lake, up against a steep bank [which would mean deeper water]. So you try to casually saunter over there, but not too close. It's still not where you want to be. Before the week is up, your fishing partner, or romantic partner, is going to be a little difficult to deal with. It's this interminably restless feeling which you've got. You keep thinking that it's better some place else. I've got news for you, my excellent Aquarius friend, it's better right where you are. If you can quit searching for someplace to go, and spend this week liking where you're at, you're going to find that the fish do start biting. Of course, with a week like this, patience ain't one of ya'll's strong behavior traits.

Pisces : Six degrees is what this week is about. Six degrees of Mars, to be more precise. He moves from 4 to 10, and that's going to liven things up in a big way over here in the land of Pisces. There's a problem associated with Mars, though, and I'd wager that this little problem will manage to insert itself into your life this week. Remember, it's the six degrees of Mars that you get to deal with. Mars energizes. Mars invigorates. Mars is a like a trip to the day spa. No, that's a faulty analogy. Mars is like a time when you should try to take a trip to the day spa and pamper yourself, only, the way things look for you right now, you ain't got the time. He's pushing and pulling on you, and there's a creeping little spiky feeling in the back of your neck. It's a mere six degrees, and he's going to be here a while, better get used to that feeling. A trip to the spa would be nice, but I don't think you can fit it into this week's schedule.

(c) Kramer Wetzel, 1999, 2000