For the week starting: 7.31.2008

"O! It is excellent
To have a giant’s strength, but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant."
Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure (II.ii.133-5)

Special nod to the giants and how they use their strength these days. Good play, too, that Measure for Measure.

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leo Leo: It was a quick tip on the back of a card, I’m guessing, a survival card at the big sportsman’s store. The instructions? "5 Survival skills: Think STOP – Sit Think Observe Plan." I don’t know, if the boat is sinking? Might not be the best time to start planning, sometimes a little action is preferable.

But as the best Fixed Fire Sign, a Leo shouldn’t be in a sinking boat these days. Which is why I was attracted to that little bit of advice. However, maybe I’m doing this wrong, but I only counted four action items, and really, there’s not a lot of action involved in those. So I’m unsure of how there’s five rules, when I can only see four. Also, consider that the moon is going to be dark in your sign.

A good time to make new plans. So working backwards from the end of the four instructions, Plan? That one works. The others are necessary steps to get from here to there, and back again. Which might be what this is really about. Not a lot of action, but a little careful thought will save you the trouble.

vir Virgo: I was the third part of a two-way conversation, couple of buddies, talking about, of course, girlfriends. "Got any good advice?" one asked, pointedly not asking me. I charge for my advice. "Yeah, she’s crazy, I mean, she’s really psycho. Run." My other buddy responded. Both looked at me. I didn’t say anything. Sometimes, silence is the best answer.

And if the person you’re attracted to is crazy? Then the best answer is to run. When I was younger and more enthusiastic, I would love the challenge of the crazy one. This is also non-gender specific, applies equally, if not more so, right across the lines. So the crazy one, it’s fun for a little while. We all agree. But after a few episodes? Maybe it’s not so much fun anymore. Might seriously impact your own Virgo health.

So it’s a wise Virgo who will stay away from the obvious crazy ones. That’s the first tip. Then, there’s also the idea, when my buddies were chatting, there’s the little fact that I didn’t jump in and offer advice. My silence was louder than anything I could’ve said. Sometimes, it’s better to be quiet. Besides, by now, everyone should know to stay away from the crazy ones.

lib Libra: I was in downtown San Antonio. Looks much like home, these days. And I was observing the ebb and flow of humanity. There was a picturesque image, what looked like for all the world, a real cowboy, leaning against a lamp post. Faded, dusty jeans tucked into knee-high boots with intricate stitching on the uppers. Yoke-cut, faux pearl snap shirt. Skoal ring on the back of the jeans, large brim straw hat, slightly beat around the edges. Real deal, near as I could tell. He was stationary, one booted foot up on the pole, and he was leaned back. Tooled belt, too, with a large buckle, looking like a trophy buckle. But who knows?

Got a good image of real cowboy paused in the middle of a busy downtown street? Imagine he was oblivious to the irony and din of traffic. I finally, as I got closer and passed him, found out what he was doing, he was texting on a phone. Which made the real irony even more poignant. However, here’s a person who is obviously at home in wide open spaces bereft of most human companionship, or so it would appear.

The thumb busy working the buttons of the phone to send a message? Completely ignoring the traffic and pedestrians all around? Maybe there’s a hint that your Libra self could use, ignore the traffic, or whatever the costume suggests. Get about what you need to do.

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sco Scorpio: I was talking with a rather elderly friend. "The older I get, the bitchier I get, and I told that to my neighbor, and you know what he said? ‘I noticed that, too, but I was afraid to point it out’."

Me? I would never point that out, and my elderly friend never seems bitchy to me. Could be point-of-view, could be the idea that I know what I’m dealing with here, and that I tend to be engaged and polite when dealing with my elders. It’s exactly the same way I would tend to treat a Scorpio, polite, engaged, attentive, and with lowered expectations. I don’t expect to be in charge, I don’t expect to get my point across, and I don’t expect to argue. But I’m a rarity.

I treat Scorpio with utmost kindness and respect. I’m not saying that everyone will be more difficult to deal with, but there will be a lot of them. My friend and me, we get along just fine. I’m also the exception, not the general rule. And I’m not saying it’s all bad, but very careful, lots of people want to piss you off. And pissed off Scorpio is not a good thing.

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sagSagittarius: Living in South Texas, as I do, not far from the coast, seafood is integral in my diet. There’s a place, sort of close, a local chain, really, and for happy hour, there’s a wedge of lettuce slathered in house dressing, and dozen raw oysters. Or a half pound of shrimp in the shell. Or all three. The deal is, here, it’s almost as inexpensive as being at the coast.

Gulf Coast oysters, not really very good in the summer months, but not too bad. Happy hour price, means a dozen is, relatively speaking, cheap. Good for nutritional purposes. Consider as well, that the Gulf Coast oysters have all those extra ingredients, like various traces of heavy metals. Might account for musical tastes.

So this is a cheap solution to a real getaway. I’m not saying that you should hop on over to the Water Street Oyster Bar, or the Shrimp Shack, or Rudy’s Seafood, but there’s a point where healthy, cheap, nutritious and inexpensive all coincide. Find out. Do it. You can thank me later. Cheap escapes are sometimes one of the most wonderful and besides, as a classless Sagittarius? We get along just fine in just about any surroundings.

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cap Capricorn: I was walking along a railroad right-of-way. Perhaps I’ve been exposed to too much country music, what with trains, and so forth. The rail line cuts a straighter pathway, and that route is much less populated, again, endearing features. I was sweltering in the South Texas sun, sweating like a roasted critter, one hot July afternoon. I noticed that there was a long, thin line of very fine white gravel, straight as the train tracks themselves.

I got to thinking about rail car after rail car I’d seen, moving, I think northward, carrying what appeared to be gravel. Then I got to thinking about all this, see, the mine must load up chunks of dirt, piled all the way to the top. Then, as the train meanders its hundreds — or thousands — of miles, some of that material is blown out, washed away, or, like the gravel I was following, coming out a hole in the bottom of the carrier.

Long, straight, white line. Unbroken. Does this amount of shrinkage, does it matter? Is that figured into the freight manifest, knowing full well that a portion of the cargo won’t ever make it to the destination? As the buyer on the receiving end, I’d like to just pay for what I got. As the seller, I’d want to be paid for the amount that left my mine. Which one is it? As a Capricorn, you want what’s right. The question begged, though, is trying to reduce a whole week of influences to a binary question, and are you the consumer, or the dealer, do want to be paid for what you shipped or for what arrived at your end?

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aqu Aquarius: I was in line at a certain brand of coffee shop, known, as much as anything, for its universal penetration. And high prices, Plus not always the best coffee. But at certain hours, or in certain locations, one takes what one can. So I was in a Starbucks, and I was in line behind a shapely lass of expected proportions. I tend to eavesdrop, too, since I get to hear things like, "Grande Americano with just a splash of non-fat." The counter help, doing her duty, suggested a breakfast pastry. "Would you like a donut?" The answer? "Yes, I would like one, but no, I can’t afford one."

I don’t think it was the price, either, not the fiscal price. It was more like the expected physical price. But I don’t let these things bother me. I doubt that one donut is going to hurt. The problem being, what starts as a one-donut-a-day habit can quickly escalate into a box of Crispy Cream donuts each morning. When those donuts are hot out of the grease. It’s really good. Great, now I’m hungry, too. Which wasn’t the point, either, that simple act of saying "no, but thanks for asking," was handled in a tactful, pleasant manner. Nobody got their feelings hurt. Employee, just doing what was in the manual, I’m sure. Although the longing glances at the donuts in the pastry case, that might’ve been a leading clue. The customer, let’s pretend she was a an Aquarius, she was just what she knew was right, fight the temptation, and do what is right for yourself. That’s a special message this week, be right to yourself, but maybe, that means refusing instead of indulging.

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pisPisces: On the south side of the interstate — the freeway — as it approaches downtown San Antonio, there’s building with four flag poles. From each pole, there’s a large piece of cloth, and each flag is symbolic. There’s a US Flag, then the Lone Star, and then there’s a "stars and bars" (either the rebel flag or the Confederate flag, depends on naming conventions), and finally, there’s a maroon flag for the University of Texas A&M. Having lived in Austin too long, home to the arch rival of the maroon flag, I can’t say that I’m overly fond of the maroon team.

I’d like to think that I am firmly middle ground, having never attended either university, but like I suggested, too much time in Austin, and I’m affected. When I’m sitting shotgun, and we drive past it, I’m afraid there’s a faint smile followed by an evener fainter sneer. The smile is the US Flag and the Lone Star, flapping in the breeze. When I see a Confederate flag, I think "Pride not prejudice," but that might be me. The Aggie (Texas A&M) flag? Got to admire that kind of loyalty. And to be fair, it’s a world class university, leading in all sort of Agricultural, Mechanical (and bio-science) fields. Top vet school, if I’m not mistaken.

But this isn’t about universities, or really, not even about flags, it’s about perceptions. What image evokes what kind of reaction? The "stars and bars" can easily evoke a strong — to some — negative connotation. As You March into your week, think about what the symbol is, and what you’re trying to get across. Then, too, consider what that image you’re presenting? Think about how it might be perceived.

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ariAries: I’d watch in Aries land, as Mars and the Moon briefly align with each other. That, in and of itself, that isn’t a big deal happens two or three times while Mars is in Virgo. But this one, coming up at the end of the weekend, on towards the beginning of the next week? It’s a signal for your Aries self to redouble the efforts at work.

The deal is, if you do twice as a much work at work? There is three times the reward. I’m not always good with fuzzy math, but I can easily see that the numbers on this are better than I previously thought. It was, like, an extra hour of overtime, but the commission paid was like, an extra three hours of pay. So it pays to stay. It can be something really simple, too.

It could be just assisting one of the overlords at the office, could be as simple as showing that person how to manipulate data on a computer’s screen. It might be a balky consumer, too, a bad customer, who, under your ministrations turns into a golden opportunity. While everyone else is carrying on about holidays and such, pay attention to that little bit of extra work with a sound fiscal reward.

And don’t forget to tip the astrologer.

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tau Taurus: While the Sun is in Leo, there’s a kind of quiet determination that should be reflected in the Taurus countenance. It’s about a degree of quiet reservation, that deep well of determination inside you. It’s about not reacting to external stimuli. Careful and methodical action can be rewarded. Well rewarded.

It’s a matter of the careful plotting, the exact execution, and the precision that you are willing to bring to bear on this matter. Then, too, there’s the silence. I’m not saying that you’re a silent type, but if you’ll allow me a chance, here, let me just say it, "Shut up."

"A closed mouth gathers no flies," that’s what one fortune cookie suggested. And I’m suggesting, as long as the Sun, and the Moon, are in Leo, there’s a good time to keep your mouth firmly sealed. I’m not going to suggest that this is a long term situation. Like quiet for a lifetime, or a timeout that lasts for years, but just a little bit of silence, on your part, will yield beneficial results. Quiet determination gets you there. Complaining about it, that gets you there, too, just not as quickly.

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gem Gemini: I ran into the strangest of weird problems, to me, anyway, I was trying to pay off the balance of a credit card. I was doing the last of the balance transfer kind of things, just moving one pile of debt over to another place, with a lower interest rate. Just about got it all paid down to a manageable level, which was the goal and after I got the sums moved around some, I had more fun just moving the debt around. Buys time, you know? Anyway, I was trying to pay off one last credit card. Not far to to go, and I thought I had the correct balance to pay. Turns out I was trying to overpay the credit card.

Minimum payment? No problem. Overpaying? That’s a big problem, apparently. When I’ve sent a check in — via regular postal mail, this isn’t a problem if I overpay by a few bucks. I get the credit from the card company. But with the wire transfer, or balance adjustment, or whatever I was doing, the card company kept refusing the payment. Usurious interest rates are better for their business models, I’m sure. They’d like to keep me at the higher rate, I’m sure. With the reams of paperwork that come with credit cards, I’m sure they’ve go this kind of scenario covered. Their fine print makes mine look tame. Still, it was a frustrating problem until I finally worked out that I couldn’t overpay the card. Took some figuring, and I almost had to wade through some of the legal jargon in order to find out that I couldn’t pay them too much. My bad.

This solution to my problem, the answer to the Gemini question, it’s all very simple. It’s going to take a little longer, maybe have to wade through a few yards of documentation, maybe it’s another kind of problem, but eventually, you will succeed. It’s just that the answer doesn’t come quickly, easily, or fast enough for your Gemini brain. But it does happen — you do succeed. Might take two or three stabs to kill the beast, though. I’m just saying.

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can Cancer: I slid into a booth at a diner-like place. I looked over at the window, three dead flies, bloated, feet-up in the air, dead as could be. I could describe what I saw across the street, but that would give away a location. It was a quiet Sunday morning, the usual crowds weren’t stirring yet. Almost quiet, in a dead-of-summer way, heat not yet radiating up from the parched pavement. Breakfast arrived, I’m guessing something with tortilla chips, eggs, maybe chorizo, probably some flour tortillas (hand-made), but I’m guessing now.

That one morning, the three dead flies in the window? Pork chop was the Sunday special. Excellent fare, pork chop was big as a steak, and tasty, too. One of the reasons the food is so good is because the dead flies are in the window. This isn’t, like, a hard and fast rule, but as indications go, I’ve eaten in enough places where the food is better and the indication is that the staff doesn’t spend too much time worrying about what the outside looks like. Maybe that’s the real key. When I twisted up your chart and dialed it in, I was looking at the phase of the moon. Just because there are a couple of dead flies in the window? Could mean the place has good food.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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