For the Week starting: 10.11.2007

"Saturn and Venus conjunct this year what says your almanac to that?"
Hal in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part I or part ii

    Mercury is heading into apparent retrograde motion. Upcoming events, information is here.

libLibra: Happy Birthday! I’ll promise that the year rolling up for you is going to be good. It’s getting there that’s going to be a chore. And it’s not so much bad and difficult, it’s just a little uncomfortable over the next couple of days. This isn’t a major kind of discomfort, either, just an irritation. It’s like looking for something, only it isn’t where you left it.

There’s a long theory that deals with the way the time-space continuum is constructed. Seems that one theory holds that elves put it all together, every minute. Every second, even. And if this theory is true, then the little time elves are the ones responsible for the missing items. It was there one minute, and in the next timeframe, it’s not there. It’s not really your fault, the little elves forgot to put it in that sequence. maybe the idea sounds better when I explain it another way, but here’s the real hint, if you look a second time, where you think you looked before, that missing moment, missing item, misshaping point, that might be there. Where it seems someone left it. Or moved it. Or the "time elves" played a trick.

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scoScorpio: Yeah, well, serves you right, my fine little Scorpio friend. This Mercury backwards is weird, too, because it starts in Scorpio. Hi Mom. Consider this the time when the odd gods, the angels, the minor deities, the littler part of what makes up the substratum of consensual reality? The minor players, not the big roles? Those guys are going to have a good go at making something fun for you.

Fun in a good way or a bad way? That sort of depends on how you approach the problems. I was in a large revolving door, one of those entrances, like to hotel or mall. It was a large revolving door, and there was family, passing through, in front of me. The littlest kid, a Scorpio, I’m sure, was pushing the door, trying to make it revolve faster. Which succeeded in tripping the brake and slowing the door down, much to the chagrin of his other family members.

Pushing only made the door turn more slowly. I’m sure this is a built-in safety feature. But it’s also, like Mercury, an annoyance at times like this. Mercury, consider it an innate safety feature. But you will have to slow down.

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sagSagittarius: I’d been going over to a friend’s place, a girlfriend’s place, and I got hooked on watching the body bag shows. The kind of TV serial wherein the forensic team gets all the action. The shows were entertaining until they got repetitive, I mean, just how many ways are there to kill people on TV and then solve the crime? Only so much plot to go around. One theme kept popping up, the gritty investigators word use a term, "exsanguinations." Fancy, TV-series term. I’m pretty sure, the cops that I know, the cops I know who’ve worked crime scenes, those cops, the real ones? They wouldn’t even know what "exsanguinations" mean. Unless they’d been watch a lot of TV shows about fictional cops.

The cops I know, in the real world, would nudge a body with a toe, and say, "Looks like he (or she, depends on the plot) bled to death." No fancy words with a Latin root and Christian overtones, just a simple statement. Sometimes, the Sagittarius life is like a TV serial, but more often than not? It’s like the real world, not like the make-believe on TV. Stick to the realistic and reality-based version of your Sagittarius story. Especially now. No fancy TV words. What most properly evokes what you want it to? "Bleed to death" or "died of exsanguinations"?

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capCapricorn: The pecans that are littering the mean streets, those pecan shells are still a little green. Mostly. But the other afternoon, while I was walking, I did find a nicely turned pecan, the husk gone, and the inner shell still intact. I thought about as I scooped it up off the sidewalk. That tree is probably older than me. Not by much, as Pecan trees grow fast. Its roots stretch under the pavement, perhaps into the sewer lines, maybe just digging through the rich earth that covers the ground.

Assuming the mature tree is at least 30 years old, maybe a lot older than that, just how much auto and truck exhaust has it filtered? What sort of trace elements, heavy metals and perhaps outright toxins are part of that simple nut? But flip it around a in nutshell, so to speak, wrapped in Nature’s own protective coating, a hard nutshell? Maybe the tender meat would be safe. Maybe not.

Care to hazard a guess as to my course of action? I cracked the shell open, did a cursory visual health inspection, i.e., no worms, and I popped the tasty sweet meat in my mouth. I don’t make a habit of eating anything I find, just picked up off the pavement but as an example, consider my actions. One little morsel won’t hurt. But don’t make a habit of eating found food. Think about the hazards, as long as Mars is opposing you.

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aquAquarius: I told you this was going to happen, and now it’s here, and you still haven’t paid attention. Between the Venus and Saturn thing, that sort of celestial pity-party, you’ve got a relationship issue that absolutely demands your Aquarius attention. As soon as I suggest that this is a demand, not a request, you’re going to turn away. But there is a persistent and pernicious problem, and it would — eventually — serve your best interest to deal with this problem. Deal with the exigency now.

There are also degrees of the severity of the problems, or the single problem, which will compound itself if you don’t deal with it now. Middle of the month. Couple of weeks before the holiday crusades start, and the marketing is already hitting a fever pitch. That’s why I’m suggesting that you get this one, little problem out of the way. Deal with it now, and lay it to rest. Put it out of your misery. Instead of listening to me, or worse, paying me, to remind you that you should’ve dealt with this already, just do it. The pain, the aftermath, that can last for the full duration of Mercury being backwards. That’s a problem. But then, by next month? You’re all safe again.

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pisPisces: I was ambling into a rather well-known venue. Wanted to hear me some twang that night. Get my cowboy on, or something. Rub shoulder with some real rednecks. I was standing near a corner of the building, the place is more like a concrete backyard, and I got to listening to the off-duty cop who was working the security detail. "Yeah, this place used to have problem with rowdy crowds until they got the reputation of beating the living shit out trouble-makers." I nodded, sipped the coke I was drinking. "After a couple of guys got taken out back and whupped real good? No more problem."

I’m not sure why I got to listen to the talk about this, perhaps I looked like dangerous felon. Or maybe I looked like I could be a felon. I tend to think I look like a goofy guitar player, but that’s just based on how many people ask me where’s the rest of the band. Anyway, I was thinking about that cop, he was off-duty, and from what I surmised, he might’ve been pulling my leg about the beatings, but the idea reverberated with a certain kind of message. A clear message, that my little Pisces friends ought to send. Especially in the present. What I was thinking, though, is sometimes, just telling the tale can carry far more weight than actions.

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ariAries: When the Sun moves through Libra, it’s a good time to think about the "Half-birthday." The half-birthday is a turning point in your life. It’s time to stop, pause, reflect, assess, and consider what kind of course corrections might be best. It’s the halfway point in the Sun’s journey around us, and another trip through the zodiac.

Stop and consider some minute direction changes. I’d be thinking of these more as rather slight course corrections. And it could be very simple.

I was passenger in a bass boat, and we were tucked into a little cove, really, just around the corner from the launching ramp, but it was quiet, fall afternoon. A great Blue Heron was watching us from the shoreline. A fishing bird, if there ever was one. My buddy wanted to change locations. I saw the big bird, took it as a sign, and suggested we remain right there, just for a few more casts.

My buddy doubted me, and then, on his next cast, aimed at that bird, he hooked a fish. Big one. Fighter, anyway. So the course correction we made, what we changed? Nothing. Just sat in the same place for a few more minutes and that resulted in more fish. That’s kind of the point, too, more of whatever your Aries self is hunting. So as Mercury (in Scorpio) and the Sun (in Libra) make a course correction, listen to what the other guy is saying.

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tauTaurus: This is going to be a particularly rough Mercury is backwards time for the dear, sweet Taurus types. It’s not an end, but it’s far from being an auspicious time. At least, nominally. Point and problem is merely the communication thing with Mr. Mercury, opposite, and backwards. But this also highlights another, deeper theme, perhaps a concurrent theme to what’s already being highlighted.

There’s a nuance that I can tickle out of the stars, and it’s about a flowering romance. Or romance that could be flowering, only it’s not. It isn’t. not just yet. This where I earn my dollars, too, and this where a decent prognostication can save you some trouble. Understand that Mercury is retrograde, starting in Scorpio. Understand that misunderstandings will occur, and grasp the idea that none of this will kill the deal, just delay it a little. Most of the Taurus folks I know are very willing to delay a little gratification. I’m suggesting you adopt my monk-like attitude. Goes a long way in keeping us out trouble. You’ll get exactly what you asked for only, not on a mercurial timetable.

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gemGemini: Mercury going backwards really does just mess with the Gemini brain. I was "helping" a Gemini friend make apple pie. In other words, I was hanging out, offering assistance, getting in the way, and otherwise being a nuisance while she worked on the pie. Pie crust from scratch, fillings from scratch, pretty impressive.

But Mercury will infect everything, sooner or later. We were at a point where we were distracted and not watching the oven in the trailer, and at that moment, a thin curl of smoke drifted upwards. I’d like to think it was my passion that distracted the Gemini, but in reality, it was the oven. Settings were off, and it ran a little hot. Misjudged the oven’s capacity, and that resulted in a slightly more toasty pie crust.

Carbon flaky goodness was my suggestion. Didn’t exactly meet with Gemini approval, and my distractions were none too welcome. And so it goes. So watch the distractions when cooking, and check to make sure the oven doesn’t run a little warmer than you think.

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canCancer: The sun was playing hide and seek in the Central Texas afternoon. Couldn’t decide if it was going to be sunny or not. Middle of October, a few cool nights, but generally, a rather agreeable time, if you ask me. But that sun, chasing itself around like that? I’d think about going outside and the sun would duck under the cloud cover.

Didn’t look like rain so much as it looked like cooler weather. It’s not, it just looked that way. Which is easily attributed to Mercury, but I’d think about Mars, too. He’s still frying along nicely, heating up everything he touches in the Cancer chart.

I’d just be careful, though, between Mars and Mercury, there’s apt to be a rash decision reached. I’d just put that off, blame the planets. It’s what I do. I know that judgment isn’t what it should be right now. Mars is a big problem with the clouded judgment, too. But along with that. Mercury will confuse those issues.

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leoLeo: Quit complaining. You don’t have it nearly as bad as some other folks. There is a rather uncomfortable edge to the Mercury Retrograde action, and that’s because it’s going backwards in another fixed sign. Scorpio. Water sign. Emotional material.

And guess what? It doesn’t mater. It’s much less of an issue if you just keep yourself quiet. This isn’t about who is right and what is wrong, this about knowing when a good, well-timed pause can save you a lot a trouble. I’m suggesting that, even though you ample reason to complain? Now is not the time to point out how you’ve struggled longer, harder, and survived more than anyone else. Doing so at this point? During this little planet retrograde action? It looks like you’re whining. And that’s not a good look for a Leo. Especially not for the Leo. So chill out a little. Quit complaining.

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virVirgo: I have a natural aversion to shoes. As often as possible, I’ll just wear sandals and call it good. I ran into a Virgo friend, and we were sharing our basic disdain for footwear. Turns out, as far as that Virgo was concerned, it’s not the shoes so much as the socks. "Yeah, I call them ‘Satan’s mittens,’ evil little things," she was explaining. I’m not sure that I agree entirely with her take on socks, but I certainly agree with her Virgo view that shoes are basically evil.

To that end, I stick with nothing but sandals and cowboy boots. For the boots, I do use "Satan’s (foot) mittens," and my socks are a constant source of entertainment and ire for some friends. Guys, or people with a guy-like understanding, and appreciation for "manly footwear," those people don’t get upset when the socks don’t match, not when I’m wearing boots.

Some girls are horrified, though, at the thought of socks that don’t match. Which is why, as often as possible, I’ll stick with sandals. No little sock issues. Mercury is like the sock issue, and it doesn’t matter if you’re for, or against, the sock issue, Mercury will confuse. Best way around this Mercury retrograde time? Do like I do, pull on a pair of boots to cover up the issue.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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